because sometimes facebook status updates have to exceed 420 characters!

initiates of the mysteries may hone their skilll and accelerate, by probing more deeply into the meanings contained within the myth cycles we have been given by nature, god and the evolution of our ancestors. i ponder this, now: when herakles the hero was climbing a mountain, he came upon poor chained prometheus. the hidden father had punished prometheus for bringing the fire of creation to earth, and teaching the previously unenlightened humans its use. prometheus was punished for acting out of turn, by being chained to a rock and having a great eagle tear his belly open and eat his liver. since he was a titan, he regrew his parts at night, but had to experience getting murdered everyday. herakles saw the eagle and bashed it to pieces with his club, and tried to cut prometheus free. however, an immortal had to sacrifice themselves for prometheus' freedom. so chiron, the centaur who learned perfect medicine by treating an incurable wound, came forward and committed sepuku. the light-bringer arose from punishing torment, the wounded healer was laid to rest, and the hero went on their merry way.

part 3: smiling with dragon eyes, through the madness and into the heights of clarity

So last post explained gaining control of my lunar energy, through zealously pursuing self-regulation and respect via ritual and journaling. This entry will touch on the later, Solar heart-opening experience. This description is pulled mostly from a letter to my pen-pal C.D.

My recent banishing of the fear of being queer was accomplished at a festival, called Starwood, with the help of my gay friend N. Having ingested soma w/ bff B.K. and new gf C.G., I wandered out into the world as they focused on grounding themselves. I adopt a shaman's outlook on these processes, for it helps to remain inquisitive and positive within a carefully chosen setting. I walked down to a fire, and cuddle up with N. beyond the fire, beyond the rings of dancers and drummers. He layed his head on my chest, and the Victorian fear of queerdom and I squared off, Eyeball to cloud of smog. "I shine like the Sun, and I will not be afraid of erotically admiring hot yang energy embodied in male humans." The cloud inside me, palpable and thick in my torso, dissipated and lingered only in my extremities as I pursued the intent of the declaration. My qigong training has cleared my inner vision somewhat, so such precise and literal pictures are not so rare for me as they once were.

All of a sudden, I saw the number 666 (which in Gematria, one may deduce from the numberical values of the letters in Christ's name, and that of the Great Beast) and felt a being of light descend from above and behind me, to live in my heartspace. This was beautiful, and with that white radiance I drove out the last of smoggy fear, and hugged N. That in itself was the unabashed confrontation that I have sought for some time, the victorious uniton with the unassuaged intelligence of my heart's will. The heart mediates between the lower worlds and the higher, & I could not feel like traversing all the Heavens that I would if my Merkabah had a trunk filled with fear of the pure, unadulterated yearnings to LOVE that I have felt, towards men and women. I gave my lover a kiss, and received his to seal the deal, and then went back to the tent and slept by my lovely lady friend.