My last 45 days have have been an unusually well-documented wildride. I kept a journal the whole time, and took alone space for self-intimacy on the as-needed basis. This wakened restfulness catalyzed meticulous self-cultivation, and unusually strong shocks to my system were integrated instead of being cause for disintegration. It has being enchanted, and in this post I will begin to relate the experience.
I hope you enjoy the music along with the other content.
The night after I wrote the last entry, I was feeling worn-out. Tired with finals, activism and emotional confusion while keeping an expansive, effective personality had been taxing. The exhaustion was all of spring and part of winter, and after reflecting for that last post on May 30th, my awareness grew into how hard I'd been slammed by cumulative stress. It was ostensibly for Beyond Coal's sake, but it was actually for my sake. Working effectively for real justice has kept my passion inflamed since last autumn. Then, I had found something important that was bigger than myself and was suddenly bestowed the energy to split outta a dysfunctional, romantic human partnership. No surprises there, before I could walk my parents already set me on an Earth Warrior path, and since puberty I've adoringly followed in the train of goddess Astraea/Justicia. In a way I didn't understand before, pursuing justice has become as captivatingly meaning-generative as Eros; also, this orientation towards the Lady who is Virgo, Libra and Scorpio, awoke Mars energy in me and I RAGED with it. After campaigning so hard and getting myself burned down along with the enemy, I still had to make this one showing, at this one party, as part of this external manifestation of the Great Work. It came clear that strong-arming my way through the way I had been would require neglecting self-care, as the destination lay some miles outside of town and it was me, exhausted without a ride or a bike. Needing to get there, "How am I going to do this?"
I told myself that I would sleep in the next day. I reasoned that if I was truly aligned with the will of the gods, then I should have near limitless access to willforce and animating energy. I ate a bit of dark chocolate, for I was peckish, and suddenly I saw an ouroboros and felt my engine revving. "Mwahaha! I am born anew, I vibrate forever and am completely imperishable." Feeling the whirling light above and behind my belly button, I ran for a long time through the darkness on country roads, before getting carried the rest of the way by a kindly meth afficionado who happened to be driving my way. I did not indulge in his substance, and would not have even if there were no detrimental side effects, because it was QUITE apparent at this point that methamphetamine would be completely superfluous.
That was an interesting little episode.
A few other things, I'll just mention in passing.
The desire to connect with and rely upon another human outside of myself, for solace in dealing with exhaustion, was strong. Eventually I realized this was simply not the path for me anymore, and wouldn't be. So while I was driven by lusting on life for a hot minute, backing out of some romantic foibles with dear friends and avoiding a couple more became imperative. The original meaning of the Fortitude card was revealed: neither seeking nor avoiding conflict, and overcoming your adversaries (conflicting desires and fear) as they appear through inner strength.
For the self-Chosen People out there, Frater Achad put this card between Sefira 7 and 6.
Another thing I did was to stand up at the OU board of trustees meeting and spake our piece. Since they wouldn't meet with us, I had to take the drastic step of inserting myself into their reality tunnel. The president of the University did not like it, but there was nothing they could do. I only spoke the first two sentences, because they refused to be publicly acted upon, so I handed the typed message off to their secretary and left. When we back up the promise to hold them accountable, I predict that they will be salty they avoided us when we were playing nice.
"On behalf of the 2,000 students and faculty who have signed a petition
to show they want Ohio University to move beyond coal, good morning.
Mr. President and members of the board of trustees, my name is Badger
Johnson, I am a student at Ohio University and I am here today to
bring you an urgent message.
As students, we are told that Ohio University community members
should take great pride in our institution. We certainly are
accomplishing many great things for which we feel pride, and we are
also the beneficiaries of past struggles and for this we are thankful.
However, in a modern world where we can quantify the number of human
deaths caused by each additional coal-burning facility, it is time to
acknowledge that burning coal is a backwards and irresponsible
The Lausche Heating Plant burns coal, to produce steam for heating and
cooling the buildings on campus, less than half a mile from where we
are gathered here. As we speak it could be emitting pollutants that
are known to cause asthma and trigger asthma attacks, such as sulfur
oxides. We are letting this happen right beside the fields where our
athletes train. What value does the board of trustees put on the
health of the student community?
There are alternatives to coal, and they need to be expediently
explored because the Lausche plant was due to retire years ago and we
need something cleaner to replace it. Currently the University is
reviewing its options, but it is actually well behind the timeline the
president McDavis committed us to in March of 2007. Tardiness is not a
hallmark of excellence, and it’s high time to admit that we cannot
meet the President’s stated goal of carbon neutrality while we’re
burning coal! And why would we try? Renewable energy pays for itself
in the long run, and it represents a lucrative investment. It also
helps demonstrate the commitment to environmental citizenship that is
part of our core value statement.
Are you, board of trustees, willing to change the damaging energy
course your predecessors have chosen for us? History demands that you
move beyond coal now! We need executives of character, who are
responsible to both the wisest council of our alma matar’s research
scientists, and to the desire of your customers, the students. We have
spoken: thousands of students have signed the petition to move beyond
coal now. We are here to help you hold you accountable. Beyond Coal is
here to hold you accountable. There will be positive consequences if
you rise to the challenge we’ve laid out before you, and further
negative repercussions for all of us if you procrastinate. Thank you."
Later that day, June 25th, I had a vivid dream that's too personal to share. Also, I was shocked by a thunder bolt after reading 1491, which I cannot recommend highly enough to you if you want a tour-de-force of the archaeologically supported awesomeness of cultures that existed in this Hemisphere prior to European invasion. I have been learning about Mayan and Eastern Woodland cultures from the book, after having learned from the oral traditions of these peoples that they shared space until the Shawnee left the Yucatan about a 1,000 years ago. The thunder-clad idea was that I can reconnect the Shawnee with recent Mayan emigres, who are now making their way to the Midwest to escape political turmoil, just as the Shawnee did. The Shawnee carry seeds of the 3 sisters garden, which may offer a key to grounding and continuing the indigenous lifeway of those newly arrived. Picture this: Shawnee, Forgot~urbans and Mayans from the Yucatan collaborating on an acre of 3-sisters community garden. Picture 5 acres, 25, and 64, once the right relationship and gardening techniques have been shared and thanked for. The Neo-indigenizing current being expressed through formerly dispossesed, born again pagans. The Guatamalan's culture could continue directly to their children in this new land, and not worked to be worked into oblivion from the alienation of their intensely-scheduled labor, or the by the prison-school adaptations that their kids are promoted to make. Again I marvel, think how the Earthway continuity would not sink completely underground, and with the solidarity of privileged folks with available education and attention, food could shared at the new table, the kind of table that hospitable Shawnee people had tried to teach to the Whites, the kind of hospitality that some awakening Gnostics are ready to learn now! I talked with the clan mother of the Shawnee Nation United Remnant Band, and she's open to me starting and facilitating this process, so now progress on the project is simply a matter of responding appropriately as the time table occurs to me.
There's more to be said. That brings us up to 3 weeks ago, and I'll try to finish out describing the episode soon. Until then, with open hearts we sail on the breath of God.