Thursday, November 18, 2010
repotting the tree of knowledge
Henceforth I shall blog with a community of other writers at THESE OLD NEW TRADITIONS. Solve et Coagula, my voice is over there now. Peep it =)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The son of the Sun will be born in France
It seems like it could really happen: everybody's putting up the cash to make infinite energy a reality. The being's lifecycle involves temperatures so high that no earthly metal can contain it. So, the magicko-technicians will be housing it in donut shaped super magnet, where it can float freely as it's Hydrogen atoms fuse.
Thursday, September 02, 2010
You are now leaving the State of Ohio
Bezahn, friends! I invite you to listen to music during your stay here. As I wrote this, these tracks are two of what I listened to, when I wasn’t sitting in silence.
When I stop thinking about my story, I feel even more like a character in it. My strange and illimitable will and desire for the Good dictated that I write myself into the story of the Shawnee United Remnant Band three years ago. The experience of this quickly evolved past the visible, original tobacco-seed extraction parameters into learning about a different culture, and the development of a cluster of friendships. This is an account of my third encounter with my Shawnee friends, whose company I enjoyed for the third time over this past weekend.
One thing you need to know about the Shawnee is that they love alligators. They have an alligator on their flag. This is because of the crucial role those crocodilians played in their nation’s history. We have to go back to the beginning of their oral history for this; I have yet to receive the full story, but here’s the start: about one thousand years ago, the Shawnee were part of the warrior/worker class of the Mayan Empire. The Aztecs invaded the Yucatan, and the Shawnee decided they’d rather not fight that battle so they dipped out. Half of them skirted Northeast along the Gulf Coast, and the other half paddled straight across to Southern Florida. Two years later, the groups reunited. Having been foraging and fishing in unfamiliar ecosystems during that time, they were very hungry by that point. So they devoured all the alligators they could find; caymans had been a delicacy back in the rainforest, and they were easy big scaly meat lockers. The gift of the alligator was reverently appreciated for renewing their energy level and putting a little meat back on their ravished frames, so they carried the eggs farther North into Okeefenokee Swamp and beyond, extending the alligators’ range beyond what it had been previously as a show of thanks.
The alligator shows up again in a cave underneath their parcel in rural Ohio. The cave is how I found these “Indians”, via the internet, back when I wrote this post. The cave tours are fun, all the people tell slightly different stories as they move through them. The cave itself would tell this story: a million years ago, a meteor hit the Earth nearby to this place, fracturing the bedrock in jagging rays. The water circulating through as it does, did gush through these cracks and carve out grottos that no human has ever fully fathomed, for the danger of it. The inaccessibility of breathable oxygen to this immense aquifer would not be a problem for underwater panthers. Going down 200+ feet and hitting water, and then another 100 feet to the bottom did sweep away the only diver who ever attempted descending into what “the bottomless pit”. Supposedly he washed up 6 miles away out of a seep hole in the side of a ditch. Anyway, when the Shawnee made it up to the Eastern Woodlands, they embellished a feature in the cave to accentuate its alligator shape in honor of their beloved sustainer. The alligator is not the same as the underwater panther
, however, which I think is probably still living down there in the buried ocean.
They have a campground, and they give cave tours, on the summit of the Bellefountaine “Outlier”. The rock here juts up so hard (dolemitic limestone) and so high (peak of Ohio at 1550 feet), that the last glacier broke itself over the place and jutted up a mile high into the sky. When the climate warmed up, the glacier fell and smacked the top of the mountain and broke two of the cave systems. Hence the deep drainages on the top of the mountain, complete with rocks from the tops of their former roofs.
The Indians are paying off their land, which they bought back from the dominant culture’s inheritors. Who’s ancestors stole it from them. FUCK. They aren’t bitter towards me, though. Only those who trash the land and hold people and planet as profane can raise their bile to froth. They host hippy jam band festivals during the summer to pay off the bank. Soon they’ll have washed their hands of this, and then more attention will be turned towards the regeneration of their culture. In the meantime they have been starting that task. They experiment with gardening, preserving their pristine woodlands, hosting pow wows, getting their tribe recognized by the State and telling their stories. They like the 3 sisters idea, but from what I saw there is a missing link they need before the system will work. Perhaps I can connect them with the successful permaculturalist Susana Lein, who has mastered co-creating the corn beans and squash as a flourishingly productive, no-til polycult.
I have yet to attend a pow wow, but as I gain in appreciation for what the elaborate costumes signify and what the people are dancing for, I’m staring to wonder why I haven’t! Hahaha. I found blue cohosh and spikenard on their property, in the middle of this sea of corn and soybeans, like wo-OH! There is something special about this land. There is a family of wild badgers living here, and an extinct species of raccoon, and a light bulb that is not connected to electricity that illuminates the community center all night every night. Perhaps related to the fact that the cave underneath the community center drains your cell phone battery if you leave it on during the tour?
Some details from a plant walk with the clan mother Melassa: they use the root of spicebush to make a tea. They eat the whole violet, saying it’s loaded with vitamin C. They suggest eating the roots of waterleaf in the autumn as a potato. They call plants “green people”, or ahnzahnzaki nawbe in their Algonquin language.
For efficacy of understanding, I hit the zen/pause button on my internal narrator frequently while I was there. Letting my heart receive every gift and scrap, soaking it up and enjoying the ride as it hit me. I engaged my agency to let the Band people know of my appreciation for their hospitality, and to link my story and those of the other college students with theirs. That kind of active listening builds bridges of affection and understanding, and it is also very tiring. I guess I was unconsciously feeding on the vibe of extreme receptivity, though I had to push myself to remain more of a vessel than a torch. It takes both yin and yang, but in anticipation of the upcoming autumn of self-directed research, classes and crusading for Gaia it was more yin than those activities. Learning to moderate my Mars aspect, active-ism will become a greater portion of my balanced modus operandi than it has been this summer. Now, after visiting these Indians who have been keepin comin on for so long, I feel ready to stay strong and steady.
When I stop thinking about my story, I feel even more like a character in it. My strange and illimitable will and desire for the Good dictated that I write myself into the story of the Shawnee United Remnant Band three years ago. The experience of this quickly evolved past the visible, original tobacco-seed extraction parameters into learning about a different culture, and the development of a cluster of friendships. This is an account of my third encounter with my Shawnee friends, whose company I enjoyed for the third time over this past weekend.
One thing you need to know about the Shawnee is that they love alligators. They have an alligator on their flag. This is because of the crucial role those crocodilians played in their nation’s history. We have to go back to the beginning of their oral history for this; I have yet to receive the full story, but here’s the start: about one thousand years ago, the Shawnee were part of the warrior/worker class of the Mayan Empire. The Aztecs invaded the Yucatan, and the Shawnee decided they’d rather not fight that battle so they dipped out. Half of them skirted Northeast along the Gulf Coast, and the other half paddled straight across to Southern Florida. Two years later, the groups reunited. Having been foraging and fishing in unfamiliar ecosystems during that time, they were very hungry by that point. So they devoured all the alligators they could find; caymans had been a delicacy back in the rainforest, and they were easy big scaly meat lockers. The gift of the alligator was reverently appreciated for renewing their energy level and putting a little meat back on their ravished frames, so they carried the eggs farther North into Okeefenokee Swamp and beyond, extending the alligators’ range beyond what it had been previously as a show of thanks.
The alligator shows up again in a cave underneath their parcel in rural Ohio. The cave is how I found these “Indians”, via the internet, back when I wrote this post. The cave tours are fun, all the people tell slightly different stories as they move through them. The cave itself would tell this story: a million years ago, a meteor hit the Earth nearby to this place, fracturing the bedrock in jagging rays. The water circulating through as it does, did gush through these cracks and carve out grottos that no human has ever fully fathomed, for the danger of it. The inaccessibility of breathable oxygen to this immense aquifer would not be a problem for underwater panthers. Going down 200+ feet and hitting water, and then another 100 feet to the bottom did sweep away the only diver who ever attempted descending into what “the bottomless pit”. Supposedly he washed up 6 miles away out of a seep hole in the side of a ditch. Anyway, when the Shawnee made it up to the Eastern Woodlands, they embellished a feature in the cave to accentuate its alligator shape in honor of their beloved sustainer. The alligator is not the same as the underwater panther
, however, which I think is probably still living down there in the buried ocean.They have a campground, and they give cave tours, on the summit of the Bellefountaine “Outlier”. The rock here juts up so hard (dolemitic limestone) and so high (peak of Ohio at 1550 feet), that the last glacier broke itself over the place and jutted up a mile high into the sky. When the climate warmed up, the glacier fell and smacked the top of the mountain and broke two of the cave systems. Hence the deep drainages on the top of the mountain, complete with rocks from the tops of their former roofs.
The Indians are paying off their land, which they bought back from the dominant culture’s inheritors. Who’s ancestors stole it from them. FUCK. They aren’t bitter towards me, though. Only those who trash the land and hold people and planet as profane can raise their bile to froth. They host hippy jam band festivals during the summer to pay off the bank. Soon they’ll have washed their hands of this, and then more attention will be turned towards the regeneration of their culture. In the meantime they have been starting that task. They experiment with gardening, preserving their pristine woodlands, hosting pow wows, getting their tribe recognized by the State and telling their stories. They like the 3 sisters idea, but from what I saw there is a missing link they need before the system will work. Perhaps I can connect them with the successful permaculturalist Susana Lein, who has mastered co-creating the corn beans and squash as a flourishingly productive, no-til polycult.
I have yet to attend a pow wow, but as I gain in appreciation for what the elaborate costumes signify and what the people are dancing for, I’m staring to wonder why I haven’t! Hahaha. I found blue cohosh and spikenard on their property, in the middle of this sea of corn and soybeans, like wo-OH! There is something special about this land. There is a family of wild badgers living here, and an extinct species of raccoon, and a light bulb that is not connected to electricity that illuminates the community center all night every night. Perhaps related to the fact that the cave underneath the community center drains your cell phone battery if you leave it on during the tour?
Some details from a plant walk with the clan mother Melassa: they use the root of spicebush to make a tea. They eat the whole violet, saying it’s loaded with vitamin C. They suggest eating the roots of waterleaf in the autumn as a potato. They call plants “green people”, or ahnzahnzaki nawbe in their Algonquin language.
For efficacy of understanding, I hit the zen/pause button on my internal narrator frequently while I was there. Letting my heart receive every gift and scrap, soaking it up and enjoying the ride as it hit me. I engaged my agency to let the Band people know of my appreciation for their hospitality, and to link my story and those of the other college students with theirs. That kind of active listening builds bridges of affection and understanding, and it is also very tiring. I guess I was unconsciously feeding on the vibe of extreme receptivity, though I had to push myself to remain more of a vessel than a torch. It takes both yin and yang, but in anticipation of the upcoming autumn of self-directed research, classes and crusading for Gaia it was more yin than those activities. Learning to moderate my Mars aspect, active-ism will become a greater portion of my balanced modus operandi than it has been this summer. Now, after visiting these Indians who have been keepin comin on for so long, I feel ready to stay strong and steady.
Friday, August 06, 2010
because sometimes facebook status updates have to exceed 420 characters!
initiates of the mysteries may hone their skilll and accelerate, by probing more deeply into the meanings contained within the myth cycles we have been given by nature, god and the evolution of our ancestors. i ponder this, now: when herakles the hero was climbing a mountain, he came upon poor chained prometheus. the hidden father had punished prometheus for bringing the fire of creation to earth, and teaching the previously unenlightened humans its use. prometheus was punished for acting out of turn, by being chained to a rock and having a great eagle tear his belly open and eat his liver. since he was a titan, he regrew his parts at night, but had to experience getting murdered everyday. herakles saw the eagle and bashed it to pieces with his club, and tried to cut prometheus free. however, an immortal had to sacrifice themselves for prometheus' freedom. so chiron, the centaur who learned perfect medicine by treating an incurable wound, came forward and committed sepuku. the light-bringer arose from punishing torment, the wounded healer was laid to rest, and the hero went on their merry way.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
part 3: smiling with dragon eyes, through the madness and into the heights of clarity
So last post explained gaining control of my lunar energy, through zealously pursuing self-regulation and respect via ritual and journaling. This entry will touch on the later, Solar heart-opening experience. This description is pulled mostly from a letter to my pen-pal C.D.
My recent banishing of the fear of being queer was accomplished at a festival, called Starwood, with the help of my gay friend N. Having ingested soma w/ bff B.K. and new gf C.G., I wandered out into the world as they focused on grounding themselves. I adopt a shaman's outlook on these processes, for it helps to remain inquisitive and positive within a carefully chosen setting. I walked down to a fire, and cuddle up with N. beyond the fire, beyond the rings of dancers and drummers. He layed his head on my chest, and the Victorian fear of queerdom and I squared off, Eyeball to cloud of smog. "I shine like the Sun, and I will not be afraid of erotically admiring hot yang energy embodied in male humans." The cloud inside me, palpable and thick in my torso, dissipated and lingered only in my extremities as I pursued the intent of the declaration. My qigong training has cleared my inner vision somewhat, so such precise and literal pictures are not so rare for me as they once were.
All of a sudden, I saw the number 666 (which in Gematria, one may deduce from the numberical values of the letters in Christ's name, and that of the Great Beast) and felt a being of light descend from above and behind me, to live in my heartspace. This was beautiful, and with that white radiance I drove out the last of smoggy fear, and hugged N. That in itself was the unabashed confrontation that I have sought for some time, the victorious uniton with the unassuaged intelligence of my heart's will. The heart mediates between the lower worlds and the higher, & I could not feel like traversing all the Heavens that I would if my Merkabah had a trunk filled with fear of the pure, unadulterated yearnings to LOVE that I have felt, towards men and women. I gave my lover a kiss, and received his to seal the deal, and then went back to the tent and slept by my lovely lady friend.
My recent banishing of the fear of being queer was accomplished at a festival, called Starwood, with the help of my gay friend N. Having ingested soma w/ bff B.K. and new gf C.G., I wandered out into the world as they focused on grounding themselves. I adopt a shaman's outlook on these processes, for it helps to remain inquisitive and positive within a carefully chosen setting. I walked down to a fire, and cuddle up with N. beyond the fire, beyond the rings of dancers and drummers. He layed his head on my chest, and the Victorian fear of queerdom and I squared off, Eyeball to cloud of smog. "I shine like the Sun, and I will not be afraid of erotically admiring hot yang energy embodied in male humans." The cloud inside me, palpable and thick in my torso, dissipated and lingered only in my extremities as I pursued the intent of the declaration. My qigong training has cleared my inner vision somewhat, so such precise and literal pictures are not so rare for me as they once were.
All of a sudden, I saw the number 666 (which in Gematria, one may deduce from the numberical values of the letters in Christ's name, and that of the Great Beast) and felt a being of light descend from above and behind me, to live in my heartspace. This was beautiful, and with that white radiance I drove out the last of smoggy fear, and hugged N. That in itself was the unabashed confrontation that I have sought for some time, the victorious uniton with the unassuaged intelligence of my heart's will. The heart mediates between the lower worlds and the higher, & I could not feel like traversing all the Heavens that I would if my Merkabah had a trunk filled with fear of the pure, unadulterated yearnings to LOVE that I have felt, towards men and women. I gave my lover a kiss, and received his to seal the deal, and then went back to the tent and slept by my lovely lady friend.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
part 2: you got there without drugs?!
I don't know if I ever told you, but the reason that I went back to school is that I got a message in my heart. The message was a response, from a force that answered to "God". It was summer 2008, and every day I was doing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, the Middle Pillar exercise, meditating, plus those 5 Tibetan Rites I posted about. These are energizing practices, practiced and designed to bring one's concentration to a quiet focus. I had the confidence to catalyze growing into my inner life, because I wanted more success in seeking my fortune in this world that felt like cruel and unforgiving. I could see, dimly, that those were both qualities within myself that I expereinced as coming from my environment. But more than from my mind, I also could see that the world can be a tricky place and that I needed some subtle power to penetrate and unlock the precise reality for which I feel seeded to blossom with. So using these techniques, passed on from sibs of the blossoming tree/rosy cross, I hacked out a free space for standing and channeling light.
It was spiritual calisthenics. Every day. Going to a forest clearing at the pinnacle of Enright ridgeline, to bellow the sacerdotal words of some barbarous semitic language. It was psychological isometrics in the basement of my girlfriend's apartment during the coldest months of winter. Bringing illumination into arenas of my being that I would no longer tolerate being isolated. I would stand in the snow by a frozen creek and guide LVX to stream up through my feet, all the way out the top of my skull. These exercises provided an opening for novel decisiveness to my yinned-out, self-critical personality.
excerpt from my journal, Thursday April 17th (2008)
"...God spoke to me today. I came through to him at the end of the Middle Pillar. My question: What to do with my life? Horticulturalist and shaman. Do the Work of Creation- express the Divine ideal by bringing forth permaculture lifeforms. This with the alchemical quintessence so well expressed that just being in the garden will resonate with our desire to pierce the veil. Awestruck by the Fathomless Beauty that'll be expressed at the scene, people will be be freer to transform themselves and manifest thier best in brightest in the vocation that speaks to them..."
It felt right to proceed farther, sometime around my birthday (5/13), with an experiment. I would address the source of my shift, which may have simply been the soothing seepage from my light-sensing pineal gland, as if it were a discrete, though completely interdependent, being of omnisentient benevolence. The question: WHAT I should be doing with my life to characterize its next phasze?! Cuz I had no fucking idea how to more fully manifest the Mars Silvanus, Greenman energy in my sphere of sensation. On the field of endeavor, I was feeling impatient and exhausted at what felt like a mighty effort and what looked like lolly-gagging on my destiny. I agreed that I would sincerely and fully explore whatever God told me directly was best for me to do, and that if the question needed further qualification, unforseen nuances and details could sort themselves out.
This is the stage that was known as Neophyte in the Golden Dawn. Probationary, testing you out to see what you're made of and whether you wanted to go on with more rigorous training. That's what being a Neophyte is about.
Eventually I was ready for the big mojo. In an epic session out by the overlook, beyond my momma's Eco-Village, did I span the inner space. Pentagrams on the pinnacle. "God, I've reprogrammed myself to believe that you, as a diffused benevolence that created the Universe and continues to act as the Prime Mover, truly enough exist to give me an answer. The ground of my being is enflamed with prayer, and the question is sincere. So even if it were only that part of my psyche which has the characteristics that I ascribe to you, I would still listen to you, because you have access to knowledge that normally now I can only dream of. So please tell me, what am I to do with my life at this stage so that I may fulfill my mission on Earth and enjoy myself to the fullest? I'm ready to execute whatever plan it is, and I'm ready to adhere to your version of it."
The answer was immediate, and very simple. "Go back to college."
"FUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK"
Whatever, I should have known that was coming. On some level I did, and it was unavoidable. I needed credibility, training, social skills wisdom experience. Connections and knowledge.
College. Getting there was Neophyte. That fall, I stood on Bong Hill, overlooking Athens and wondered what further progress was going to look like. Would I became a minor adept by the time I graduated? What would that feel like? What would that look like, and what would I be doing from an exhaulted station where the energy of the Sun could heat me and ray out of my heart to illuminate the world? I felt that it would happen. Then I plunged into a dark night of the soul, as I came to terms with the fact that I could not contain a successful student life in the container of poetic madness.
Fast forward through my life chapters that were shaped mainly by academics, qigong and N*. We may peer into my recent journal to read why now, I am calling myself Zelator, the task of whom is to zealously gain control of the foundations of one's being.
This is a journal entry that has been groomed for public consumption:
6/28/10
I experienced a kundalini awakening last night, at J!'s place. He is a recipe master of the sweat lodge.
There were 4 gates, corresponding with the four directions. We stripped off our outer garments and prayed by a blazing fire. Following that, we then went inside the towel-covered frame of woven boughs. We sat in a circle, our butts resting on boards over a sand floor. Sunken into the middle of the place was a brick invagination, where J! would lay down red glowing stones, saying "Welcome, all my relations" in Lakota/Sioux.
"Find your prayer", and "let the steam and the stones help you carry it up". These were my instructions… Opening to the possibility of transformation, I asked spirit to guide me and I vowed to follow its lead. The need to heal my Martian spirit, the body god of the heart, occurred to me. I saw that I had allowed my wholistic sense of self to be warped as I sacrificed balance to continue Beyond Coal battling through the Spring quarter, especially. I asked that my inner warrior be equilibritated with my ideally balanced and masculine self, so that I may laugh and feel the simple joy of living without feeling a constant desire to vault through life, driven always and solely by the battle daemon of Mars and instead welcoming in the equilibrating influence of, who would it be, Khamael according to the Big Tree Chart. I could feel this happening, as I experienced the thought in its fullness. Later, when the steam was burning my face and sweat poured from my chin, I began offering a verbalized prayer. J! opened the door to the lodge as I began, and I paused. A! sat to my left, and urged me to finish. Thank you, A!. It was my truth in the moment, and was an admirable declaration. When we emerged from the womb, there was lightening flashing in the sky and it continued for the rest of our time. Mars had heard me and showed his response with the flashing bolts of Thor. We talked about stars outside for a bit, me mentioning Astraea to the Scorpio and Libra audience. A! informed us about a cluster of guardians who live out by Titan, saying that a "mothership" is out that way also which can be seen with the naked eye.
I decided to do a ritual whereby I would fill myself with the pure planetary energies to experience them, and then wash myself clean with Lux. I had already gotten this experience with Mars, who is very close to home and responded with a happy, care-free side of me that I had not thought before as being the same part of me that can deal with conflict…. pause to read and rest…
God I have a killer stomach ache! I feel like a different person than whose consciousness was merged with such larger patterns last night. However, I know that the pain is something I need to work through... By recording this story, faithfully detailing the evidence of this truth that is no longer in the forefront of my thinking, it can find a home by integrating it into my habitual self. That will make the surface of this pond as good as clarified, because I know what lurks beneath and what is reflected from above (the daemonic and the angelic). The mead of inspiration hath ceased flowing, but fills my cup.
I'm indebted to Alan Chapman (page 25 Advanced Magick for Beginners) for elucidating this for me. I'm used to thinking of doing what has to be done in the ephemerally appropriate now as a chore, but the small haze of pain won’t keep me from harmonizing with the Dao. Doing so is easy and more richly gratifying than I previously realized.
Lodge. Returning, I filled myself with Venus, which I pictured as emerald plumes of color descending throughout my pa hui/jew cap area of the dome, and expanding into my whole body. Self-induced experience, the energy I was picturing introducing seemed to respond (remember to keep an objective tone, it will help you maintain an objective outlook) to my invitation as I felt: 1) a sentimental love, 2) generalized erotic loving for my self and 3)other, as if I and all were one unit of pleasing flesh. Truly a yummy feeling! I remember feeling this before, looking at myself in the mirror after a shower last week or the week before, and exclaiming that "Nobody's got curves like this!" in affection for the way my lower back transitions down. Then I purged the eroticism of Venus with white light followed. It took more work of will than flushing out Mars, and it seemed that I was aware of some other part of me that was there without filling with Venus energy, like part of the hardware of my physical makeup is governed by Venus and that I had stayed tuned into it after being completely awash. As I would write in my journal if I didn’t have the focus to be scientific, “But the excess energy did dissolve, overpowered by the Ain Soph.”
Next was a non-aroused Jupiter energy. It is happy, mild, not a boundary setter, but an affirmer. I felt myself bestowing a personal blessing on my experience as a whole; it was of the blue sphere based on the Kaballistic imprint. I did not feel uplifted by Jupiter, which surprised me at the time. I had expected to feel Jovial Green Dragon I've felt in my liver before, but did not. Silent mirth, happy in solitude, an inner chuckle is the kind of happiness if I had to personify the satisfaction. At this stage, J! began talking, and I had to interrupt my focus to pay attention to him, and when I focused again it was to do Mercury.
Mercury is the Magician archetype, by my reckoning: able to make connections before they are fully felt by communicating between disparate parts. I felt an orange energy down through my crown, the color I've seen in pictures of the planet's surface. The intellect. I felt more at peace with the Mercurial energy than I had during my first year at OU, because I am more fully developed and thinking is better complimented by emotional and social activity. Nonetheless, the 3 sisters project and the bioremediation I am thankful for, and I recall as I write this another experienced truth of appreciating this function earlier this year, which was a milestone I suppose- hopefully I wrote it down at the time and can transcribe it an put it on a timeline- spiraled on the wheel of the year?!!! See what I mean! While Jupiter's humor was slow and subtle, and Venus's was like a ink spreading blue dye from the chemistry lab spreading through a solute, Mercury I felt as the energy around my spinal column. THat seems to correspond with the central nervous system…
The steam got really intense after Mercury, and I realized that the Moon would be next, because there was just a full moon lunar eclipse on Saturday morning. It was so hot, my nostrils felt like they were burning, and so did my nipples.
I came outside and thought about the Moon- and suddenly it was connected to my sexuality! I did not continue the formula of inviting it in and then purging it, there was a truth happening in me of its own accord. In "The Mystical Kabbalah", Dion Fortune says something about how all the other energies are reposted in the Moon's, which brings it down to Malkuth, the Earth, the 4 directions that Amerindians use as a soul compass technology. I imagined different colored beams of light, the green, orange, blue and red that I had seen, entering into the Moon in a rainbow, that arced down into the sphere of my lower belly. Then yellow light appeared as the pre-eminent light, and the blue faded, and it was strengthened. The rainbow covenant was renewed, I realized: I do not need to hurt and strangle my body or emotions to grow and evolve them, and I vowed upon seeing the Rainbow that I was too beautiful to extinguish, ever.
I feel less certain of the chronology of the following events, but I will record them from memory as faithfully as possible, and perhaps return to offer elaborations and corrections later. Inside the tent for the third portal, the East, Rosco tells us that this is the place of beginnings, this is the direction which we evolutionarily are coming out of Dark Age in the heated South and getting more enlightened, so that space alien gods will return to conscious communication with our society and help us clean up the ecological messes we've made. I remember offering a homily to the Moon. I offered thanks to the Moon for her gifts of shaking and strengthening our imagination, so that we as earth poets could connect with the other energies too and figure out the work we need to do, and be the Gods who don't have to destroy everything to create anew! We remember, it is renewed, the Rainbow Covenant, I said. It was powerful, and I did not falter. A! offered a prayer to our DNA and ancestors and teachers before that; M! or Stephan-Eye offered something brief after. J! thanked us and said we should go into spontaneous singing. I began "Humble myself to the light of the Moon", but he overpowered me and the others with his voice, and asked us to "get low" as he dumped a ton of water on the rocks. I felt intensely angry, but then did not allow myself to retain the anger. This was a very important part of the process. I let anger pass through me, and out again like a barnacle goose’s acorn sinking through an uncovered well, and being carried out to sea on an underground river. Bending my forehead to the ground, the cord from base chakra to top chakra that my pal Farinacci suggested becoming aware of, became an upwards flowing motion. I could feel it move through me from base to top as I bent over and it flowed from I don't know where, it felt like, into the Earth, like I was a hose which somebody had dunked in water and then sucked on for some siphoning action. I was totally bent over my crossed legs. I stumbled out, my conscious mind a total annihilated blank.
J! and his interruption, what a coyote, setting me up to realize my higher need of allowing anger to pass through and back out again instead of into my sword arm.
After that third portal, I just lay in the grass. I could barely move. I was nauseous, feeling like the heat had done me in. I did facial massage but without the heat. A! came over and I took a hit of some smoke, which seemed super appropriate. I administered a resuscitating nose bridge rub. My fingers that meandered over to the left brow ridge, below my off-center third eye. I felt it quiver, and I blasted off!
This was the weirdest and most intense of the experience.
There was all this exchange between above and below energies, via the heart, and SOOO much imagery. I remember being reborn as a lux shen baby and being rocked by the virgin mother; I remember burning to a cinder and rising as a phoenix from heart to throat. I thought, "I should read Chuang Tze to see about his thinking on this. I remember INRI, strangely enough, and YHVH, and I felt the fire of creation sweep from letter to letter left to right. There were three consecutive serpents that took three paths from root to crown, each with fierce different face and temperament. One was definitely an asp or some venomous looking green snake with maroon banding, another was grayish. The first two I could feel as blazing verically, the green one kind of meandered. It got overwhelming after a while. I realized on the comedown, as others came out and started adjusting from their forth portal, that I loved this Gnosis and that I was salty to have to ever move again, because I could not express what I felt to the others and that living into it would be difficult to achieve and even more difficult to understand. Perhaps with further study, these super-dense experiences can reveal further meaning. That's a definite possibility! Anywho, when it got overwhelming, I said "These evolutions are what have happened to the World as a Whole, and I would be deluding myself if I was to view these events as my exclusive domain. The visions were of monumental, transpersonal transformation and I will learn and grow from integrating them into what I am, but on a human scale. I can’t get shredded by all this God energy."
I was rather discombobulated and couldn't communicate what happened to me to those around me, so much, but it was good. The next morning, this Monday morning, I cried after a belly rub, both for how intensely good it had been, and the great disconnect I felt between the mundane and the journey I had just come back from. I offered thanks, and remembered the Rainbow Covenant and the peaceable Martian were there supporting me.
On my way to 8 am Spanish class the morning after voyaging, I found my red bike, which had been stolen. Lavishing it with maintenance and riding it hard, I exercised the newly integrated pieces of my philosophy. I am feeling fucking amazed, enlivened and invigorated by it all.”
That bike will never have a rusty chain again. I am taking care of it from then on out, and moving straight from a stilled point, amidst the powerful fluctuations of the Lunar Flame, is what constitutes gaining control of your being. Here's to
__________________
This is what my old teacher C Duke said upon hearing my newly adopted title
"You are *not* a Zelator - you are always and only ever were *Ipsissimus*...
Enlightened and *Self-Initiated*
*Everything else is just someone else's hierarchy.*"
--------------------
Next I'll talk about the Solar achievement. After all this heavy duty focus on me, the next posts will be about girls and beer and la vida dulce.
It was spiritual calisthenics. Every day. Going to a forest clearing at the pinnacle of Enright ridgeline, to bellow the sacerdotal words of some barbarous semitic language. It was psychological isometrics in the basement of my girlfriend's apartment during the coldest months of winter. Bringing illumination into arenas of my being that I would no longer tolerate being isolated. I would stand in the snow by a frozen creek and guide LVX to stream up through my feet, all the way out the top of my skull. These exercises provided an opening for novel decisiveness to my yinned-out, self-critical personality.
excerpt from my journal, Thursday April 17th (2008)
"...God spoke to me today. I came through to him at the end of the Middle Pillar. My question: What to do with my life? Horticulturalist and shaman. Do the Work of Creation- express the Divine ideal by bringing forth permaculture lifeforms. This with the alchemical quintessence so well expressed that just being in the garden will resonate with our desire to pierce the veil. Awestruck by the Fathomless Beauty that'll be expressed at the scene, people will be be freer to transform themselves and manifest thier best in brightest in the vocation that speaks to them..."
It felt right to proceed farther, sometime around my birthday (5/13), with an experiment. I would address the source of my shift, which may have simply been the soothing seepage from my light-sensing pineal gland, as if it were a discrete, though completely interdependent, being of omnisentient benevolence. The question: WHAT I should be doing with my life to characterize its next phasze?! Cuz I had no fucking idea how to more fully manifest the Mars Silvanus, Greenman energy in my sphere of sensation. On the field of endeavor, I was feeling impatient and exhausted at what felt like a mighty effort and what looked like lolly-gagging on my destiny. I agreed that I would sincerely and fully explore whatever God told me directly was best for me to do, and that if the question needed further qualification, unforseen nuances and details could sort themselves out.
This is the stage that was known as Neophyte in the Golden Dawn. Probationary, testing you out to see what you're made of and whether you wanted to go on with more rigorous training. That's what being a Neophyte is about.
Eventually I was ready for the big mojo. In an epic session out by the overlook, beyond my momma's Eco-Village, did I span the inner space. Pentagrams on the pinnacle. "God, I've reprogrammed myself to believe that you, as a diffused benevolence that created the Universe and continues to act as the Prime Mover, truly enough exist to give me an answer. The ground of my being is enflamed with prayer, and the question is sincere. So even if it were only that part of my psyche which has the characteristics that I ascribe to you, I would still listen to you, because you have access to knowledge that normally now I can only dream of. So please tell me, what am I to do with my life at this stage so that I may fulfill my mission on Earth and enjoy myself to the fullest? I'm ready to execute whatever plan it is, and I'm ready to adhere to your version of it."
The answer was immediate, and very simple. "Go back to college."
"FUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK"
Whatever, I should have known that was coming. On some level I did, and it was unavoidable. I needed credibility, training, social skills wisdom experience. Connections and knowledge.
College. Getting there was Neophyte. That fall, I stood on Bong Hill, overlooking Athens and wondered what further progress was going to look like. Would I became a minor adept by the time I graduated? What would that feel like? What would that look like, and what would I be doing from an exhaulted station where the energy of the Sun could heat me and ray out of my heart to illuminate the world? I felt that it would happen. Then I plunged into a dark night of the soul, as I came to terms with the fact that I could not contain a successful student life in the container of poetic madness.
Fast forward through my life chapters that were shaped mainly by academics, qigong and N*. We may peer into my recent journal to read why now, I am calling myself Zelator, the task of whom is to zealously gain control of the foundations of one's being.
This is a journal entry that has been groomed for public consumption:
6/28/10
I experienced a kundalini awakening last night, at J!'s place. He is a recipe master of the sweat lodge.
There were 4 gates, corresponding with the four directions. We stripped off our outer garments and prayed by a blazing fire. Following that, we then went inside the towel-covered frame of woven boughs. We sat in a circle, our butts resting on boards over a sand floor. Sunken into the middle of the place was a brick invagination, where J! would lay down red glowing stones, saying "Welcome, all my relations" in Lakota/Sioux.
"Find your prayer", and "let the steam and the stones help you carry it up". These were my instructions… Opening to the possibility of transformation, I asked spirit to guide me and I vowed to follow its lead. The need to heal my Martian spirit, the body god of the heart, occurred to me. I saw that I had allowed my wholistic sense of self to be warped as I sacrificed balance to continue Beyond Coal battling through the Spring quarter, especially. I asked that my inner warrior be equilibritated with my ideally balanced and masculine self, so that I may laugh and feel the simple joy of living without feeling a constant desire to vault through life, driven always and solely by the battle daemon of Mars and instead welcoming in the equilibrating influence of, who would it be, Khamael according to the Big Tree Chart. I could feel this happening, as I experienced the thought in its fullness. Later, when the steam was burning my face and sweat poured from my chin, I began offering a verbalized prayer. J! opened the door to the lodge as I began, and I paused. A! sat to my left, and urged me to finish. Thank you, A!. It was my truth in the moment, and was an admirable declaration. When we emerged from the womb, there was lightening flashing in the sky and it continued for the rest of our time. Mars had heard me and showed his response with the flashing bolts of Thor. We talked about stars outside for a bit, me mentioning Astraea to the Scorpio and Libra audience. A! informed us about a cluster of guardians who live out by Titan, saying that a "mothership" is out that way also which can be seen with the naked eye.
I decided to do a ritual whereby I would fill myself with the pure planetary energies to experience them, and then wash myself clean with Lux. I had already gotten this experience with Mars, who is very close to home and responded with a happy, care-free side of me that I had not thought before as being the same part of me that can deal with conflict…. pause to read and rest…
God I have a killer stomach ache! I feel like a different person than whose consciousness was merged with such larger patterns last night. However, I know that the pain is something I need to work through... By recording this story, faithfully detailing the evidence of this truth that is no longer in the forefront of my thinking, it can find a home by integrating it into my habitual self. That will make the surface of this pond as good as clarified, because I know what lurks beneath and what is reflected from above (the daemonic and the angelic). The mead of inspiration hath ceased flowing, but fills my cup.
I'm indebted to Alan Chapman (page 25 Advanced Magick for Beginners) for elucidating this for me. I'm used to thinking of doing what has to be done in the ephemerally appropriate now as a chore, but the small haze of pain won’t keep me from harmonizing with the Dao. Doing so is easy and more richly gratifying than I previously realized.
Lodge. Returning, I filled myself with Venus, which I pictured as emerald plumes of color descending throughout my pa hui/jew cap area of the dome, and expanding into my whole body. Self-induced experience, the energy I was picturing introducing seemed to respond (remember to keep an objective tone, it will help you maintain an objective outlook) to my invitation as I felt: 1) a sentimental love, 2) generalized erotic loving for my self and 3)other, as if I and all were one unit of pleasing flesh. Truly a yummy feeling! I remember feeling this before, looking at myself in the mirror after a shower last week or the week before, and exclaiming that "Nobody's got curves like this!" in affection for the way my lower back transitions down. Then I purged the eroticism of Venus with white light followed. It took more work of will than flushing out Mars, and it seemed that I was aware of some other part of me that was there without filling with Venus energy, like part of the hardware of my physical makeup is governed by Venus and that I had stayed tuned into it after being completely awash. As I would write in my journal if I didn’t have the focus to be scientific, “But the excess energy did dissolve, overpowered by the Ain Soph.”
Next was a non-aroused Jupiter energy. It is happy, mild, not a boundary setter, but an affirmer. I felt myself bestowing a personal blessing on my experience as a whole; it was of the blue sphere based on the Kaballistic imprint. I did not feel uplifted by Jupiter, which surprised me at the time. I had expected to feel Jovial Green Dragon I've felt in my liver before, but did not. Silent mirth, happy in solitude, an inner chuckle is the kind of happiness if I had to personify the satisfaction. At this stage, J! began talking, and I had to interrupt my focus to pay attention to him, and when I focused again it was to do Mercury.
Mercury is the Magician archetype, by my reckoning: able to make connections before they are fully felt by communicating between disparate parts. I felt an orange energy down through my crown, the color I've seen in pictures of the planet's surface. The intellect. I felt more at peace with the Mercurial energy than I had during my first year at OU, because I am more fully developed and thinking is better complimented by emotional and social activity. Nonetheless, the 3 sisters project and the bioremediation I am thankful for, and I recall as I write this another experienced truth of appreciating this function earlier this year, which was a milestone I suppose- hopefully I wrote it down at the time and can transcribe it an put it on a timeline- spiraled on the wheel of the year?!!! See what I mean! While Jupiter's humor was slow and subtle, and Venus's was like a ink spreading blue dye from the chemistry lab spreading through a solute, Mercury I felt as the energy around my spinal column. THat seems to correspond with the central nervous system…
The steam got really intense after Mercury, and I realized that the Moon would be next, because there was just a full moon lunar eclipse on Saturday morning. It was so hot, my nostrils felt like they were burning, and so did my nipples.
I came outside and thought about the Moon- and suddenly it was connected to my sexuality! I did not continue the formula of inviting it in and then purging it, there was a truth happening in me of its own accord. In "The Mystical Kabbalah", Dion Fortune says something about how all the other energies are reposted in the Moon's, which brings it down to Malkuth, the Earth, the 4 directions that Amerindians use as a soul compass technology. I imagined different colored beams of light, the green, orange, blue and red that I had seen, entering into the Moon in a rainbow, that arced down into the sphere of my lower belly. Then yellow light appeared as the pre-eminent light, and the blue faded, and it was strengthened. The rainbow covenant was renewed, I realized: I do not need to hurt and strangle my body or emotions to grow and evolve them, and I vowed upon seeing the Rainbow that I was too beautiful to extinguish, ever.
I feel less certain of the chronology of the following events, but I will record them from memory as faithfully as possible, and perhaps return to offer elaborations and corrections later. Inside the tent for the third portal, the East, Rosco tells us that this is the place of beginnings, this is the direction which we evolutionarily are coming out of Dark Age in the heated South and getting more enlightened, so that space alien gods will return to conscious communication with our society and help us clean up the ecological messes we've made. I remember offering a homily to the Moon. I offered thanks to the Moon for her gifts of shaking and strengthening our imagination, so that we as earth poets could connect with the other energies too and figure out the work we need to do, and be the Gods who don't have to destroy everything to create anew! We remember, it is renewed, the Rainbow Covenant, I said. It was powerful, and I did not falter. A! offered a prayer to our DNA and ancestors and teachers before that; M! or Stephan-Eye offered something brief after. J! thanked us and said we should go into spontaneous singing. I began "Humble myself to the light of the Moon", but he overpowered me and the others with his voice, and asked us to "get low" as he dumped a ton of water on the rocks. I felt intensely angry, but then did not allow myself to retain the anger. This was a very important part of the process. I let anger pass through me, and out again like a barnacle goose’s acorn sinking through an uncovered well, and being carried out to sea on an underground river. Bending my forehead to the ground, the cord from base chakra to top chakra that my pal Farinacci suggested becoming aware of, became an upwards flowing motion. I could feel it move through me from base to top as I bent over and it flowed from I don't know where, it felt like, into the Earth, like I was a hose which somebody had dunked in water and then sucked on for some siphoning action. I was totally bent over my crossed legs. I stumbled out, my conscious mind a total annihilated blank.
J! and his interruption, what a coyote, setting me up to realize my higher need of allowing anger to pass through and back out again instead of into my sword arm.
After that third portal, I just lay in the grass. I could barely move. I was nauseous, feeling like the heat had done me in. I did facial massage but without the heat. A! came over and I took a hit of some smoke, which seemed super appropriate. I administered a resuscitating nose bridge rub. My fingers that meandered over to the left brow ridge, below my off-center third eye. I felt it quiver, and I blasted off!
This was the weirdest and most intense of the experience.
There was all this exchange between above and below energies, via the heart, and SOOO much imagery. I remember being reborn as a lux shen baby and being rocked by the virgin mother; I remember burning to a cinder and rising as a phoenix from heart to throat. I thought, "I should read Chuang Tze to see about his thinking on this. I remember INRI, strangely enough, and YHVH, and I felt the fire of creation sweep from letter to letter left to right. There were three consecutive serpents that took three paths from root to crown, each with fierce different face and temperament. One was definitely an asp or some venomous looking green snake with maroon banding, another was grayish. The first two I could feel as blazing verically, the green one kind of meandered. It got overwhelming after a while. I realized on the comedown, as others came out and started adjusting from their forth portal, that I loved this Gnosis and that I was salty to have to ever move again, because I could not express what I felt to the others and that living into it would be difficult to achieve and even more difficult to understand. Perhaps with further study, these super-dense experiences can reveal further meaning. That's a definite possibility! Anywho, when it got overwhelming, I said "These evolutions are what have happened to the World as a Whole, and I would be deluding myself if I was to view these events as my exclusive domain. The visions were of monumental, transpersonal transformation and I will learn and grow from integrating them into what I am, but on a human scale. I can’t get shredded by all this God energy."
I was rather discombobulated and couldn't communicate what happened to me to those around me, so much, but it was good. The next morning, this Monday morning, I cried after a belly rub, both for how intensely good it had been, and the great disconnect I felt between the mundane and the journey I had just come back from. I offered thanks, and remembered the Rainbow Covenant and the peaceable Martian were there supporting me.
On my way to 8 am Spanish class the morning after voyaging, I found my red bike, which had been stolen. Lavishing it with maintenance and riding it hard, I exercised the newly integrated pieces of my philosophy. I am feeling fucking amazed, enlivened and invigorated by it all.”
That bike will never have a rusty chain again. I am taking care of it from then on out, and moving straight from a stilled point, amidst the powerful fluctuations of the Lunar Flame, is what constitutes gaining control of your being. Here's to
__________________
This is what my old teacher C Duke said upon hearing my newly adopted title
"You are *not* a Zelator - you are always and only ever were *Ipsissimus*...
Enlightened and *Self-Initiated*
*Everything else is just someone else's hierarchy.*"
--------------------
Next I'll talk about the Solar achievement. After all this heavy duty focus on me, the next posts will be about girls and beer and la vida dulce.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
standing on the moon, Zelator Werebrock is consoled and harmoniously returns to vehemence (part 1)
My last 45 days have have been an unusually well-documented wildride. I kept a journal the whole time, and took alone space for self-intimacy on the as-needed basis. This wakened restfulness catalyzed meticulous self-cultivation, and unusually strong shocks to my system were integrated instead of being cause for disintegration. It has being enchanted, and in this post I will begin to relate the experience.
I hope you enjoy the music along with the other content.
The night after I wrote the last entry, I was feeling worn-out. Tired with finals, activism and emotional confusion while keeping an expansive, effective personality had been taxing. The exhaustion was all of spring and part of winter, and after reflecting for that last post on May 30th, my awareness grew into how hard I'd been slammed by cumulative stress. It was ostensibly for Beyond Coal's sake, but it was actually for my sake. Working effectively for real justice has kept my passion inflamed since last autumn. Then, I had found something important that was bigger than myself and was suddenly bestowed the energy to split outta a dysfunctional, romantic human partnership. No surprises there, before I could walk my parents already set me on an Earth Warrior path, and since puberty I've adoringly followed in the train of goddess Astraea/Justicia. In a way I didn't understand before, pursuing justice has become as captivatingly meaning-generative as Eros; also, this orientation towards the Lady who is Virgo, Libra and Scorpio, awoke Mars energy in me and I RAGED with it. After campaigning so hard and getting myself burned down along with the enemy, I still had to make this one showing, at this one party, as part of this external manifestation of the Great Work. It came clear that strong-arming my way through the way I had been would require neglecting self-care, as the destination lay some miles outside of town and it was me, exhausted without a ride or a bike. Needing to get there, "How am I going to do this?"
I told myself that I would sleep in the next day. I reasoned that if I was truly aligned with the will of the gods, then I should have near limitless access to willforce and animating energy. I ate a bit of dark chocolate, for I was peckish, and suddenly I saw an ouroboros and felt my engine revving. "Mwahaha! I am born anew, I vibrate forever and am completely imperishable." Feeling the whirling light above and behind my belly button, I ran for a long time through the darkness on country roads, before getting carried the rest of the way by a kindly meth afficionado who happened to be driving my way. I did not indulge in his substance, and would not have even if there were no detrimental side effects, because it was QUITE apparent at this point that methamphetamine would be completely superfluous.
That was an interesting little episode.
A few other things, I'll just mention in passing.
The desire to connect with and rely upon another human outside of myself, for solace in dealing with exhaustion, was strong. Eventually I realized this was simply not the path for me anymore, and wouldn't be. So while I was driven by lusting on life for a hot minute, backing out of some romantic foibles with dear friends and avoiding a couple more became imperative. The original meaning of the Fortitude card was revealed: neither seeking nor avoiding conflict, and overcoming your adversaries (conflicting desires and fear) as they appear through inner strength.
For the self-Chosen People out there, Frater Achad put this card between Sefira 7 and 6.
Another thing I did was to stand up at the OU board of trustees meeting and spake our piece. Since they wouldn't meet with us, I had to take the drastic step of inserting myself into their reality tunnel. The president of the University did not like it, but there was nothing they could do. I only spoke the first two sentences, because they refused to be publicly acted upon, so I handed the typed message off to their secretary and left. When we back up the promise to hold them accountable, I predict that they will be salty they avoided us when we were playing nice.
"On behalf of the 2,000 students and faculty who have signed a petition
to show they want Ohio University to move beyond coal, good morning.
Mr. President and members of the board of trustees, my name is Badger
Johnson, I am a student at Ohio University and I am here today to
bring you an urgent message.
As students, we are told that Ohio University community members should take great pride in our institution. We certainly are accomplishing many great things for which we feel pride, and we are also the beneficiaries of past struggles and for this we are thankful. However, in a modern world where we can quantify the number of human deaths caused by each additional coal-burning facility, it is time to acknowledge that burning coal is a backwards and irresponsible operation.
The Lausche Heating Plant burns coal, to produce steam for heating and cooling the buildings on campus, less than half a mile from where we are gathered here. As we speak it could be emitting pollutants that are known to cause asthma and trigger asthma attacks, such as sulfur oxides. We are letting this happen right beside the fields where our athletes train. What value does the board of trustees put on the health of the student community?
There are alternatives to coal, and they need to be expediently explored because the Lausche plant was due to retire years ago and we need something cleaner to replace it. Currently the University is reviewing its options, but it is actually well behind the timeline the president McDavis committed us to in March of 2007. Tardiness is not a hallmark of excellence, and it’s high time to admit that we cannot meet the President’s stated goal of carbon neutrality while we’re burning coal! And why would we try? Renewable energy pays for itself in the long run, and it represents a lucrative investment. It also helps demonstrate the commitment to environmental citizenship that is part of our core value statement.
Are you, board of trustees, willing to change the damaging energy course your predecessors have chosen for us? History demands that you move beyond coal now! We need executives of character, who are responsible to both the wisest council of our alma matar’s research scientists, and to the desire of your customers, the students. We have spoken: thousands of students have signed the petition to move beyond coal now. We are here to help you hold you accountable. Beyond Coal is here to hold you accountable. There will be positive consequences if you rise to the challenge we’ve laid out before you, and further negative repercussions for all of us if you procrastinate. Thank you."
Later that day, June 25th, I had a vivid dream that's too personal to share. Also, I was shocked by a thunder bolt after reading 1491, which I cannot recommend highly enough to you if you want a tour-de-force of the archaeologically supported awesomeness of cultures that existed in this Hemisphere prior to European invasion. I have been learning about Mayan and Eastern Woodland cultures from the book, after having learned from the oral traditions of these peoples that they shared space until the Shawnee left the Yucatan about a 1,000 years ago. The thunder-clad idea was that I can reconnect the Shawnee with recent Mayan emigres, who are now making their way to the Midwest to escape political turmoil, just as the Shawnee did. The Shawnee carry seeds of the 3 sisters garden, which may offer a key to grounding and continuing the indigenous lifeway of those newly arrived. Picture this: Shawnee, Forgot~urbans and Mayans from the Yucatan collaborating on an acre of 3-sisters community garden. Picture 5 acres, 25, and 64, once the right relationship and gardening techniques have been shared and thanked for. The Neo-indigenizing current being expressed through formerly dispossesed, born again pagans. The Guatamalan's culture could continue directly to their children in this new land, and not worked to be worked into oblivion from the alienation of their intensely-scheduled labor, or the by the prison-school adaptations that their kids are promoted to make. Again I marvel, think how the Earthway continuity would not sink completely underground, and with the solidarity of privileged folks with available education and attention, food could shared at the new table, the kind of table that hospitable Shawnee people had tried to teach to the Whites, the kind of hospitality that some awakening Gnostics are ready to learn now! I talked with the clan mother of the Shawnee Nation United Remnant Band, and she's open to me starting and facilitating this process, so now progress on the project is simply a matter of responding appropriately as the time table occurs to me.
There's more to be said. That brings us up to 3 weeks ago, and I'll try to finish out describing the episode soon. Until then, with open hearts we sail on the breath of God.
I hope you enjoy the music along with the other content.
The night after I wrote the last entry, I was feeling worn-out. Tired with finals, activism and emotional confusion while keeping an expansive, effective personality had been taxing. The exhaustion was all of spring and part of winter, and after reflecting for that last post on May 30th, my awareness grew into how hard I'd been slammed by cumulative stress. It was ostensibly for Beyond Coal's sake, but it was actually for my sake. Working effectively for real justice has kept my passion inflamed since last autumn. Then, I had found something important that was bigger than myself and was suddenly bestowed the energy to split outta a dysfunctional, romantic human partnership. No surprises there, before I could walk my parents already set me on an Earth Warrior path, and since puberty I've adoringly followed in the train of goddess Astraea/Justicia. In a way I didn't understand before, pursuing justice has become as captivatingly meaning-generative as Eros; also, this orientation towards the Lady who is Virgo, Libra and Scorpio, awoke Mars energy in me and I RAGED with it. After campaigning so hard and getting myself burned down along with the enemy, I still had to make this one showing, at this one party, as part of this external manifestation of the Great Work. It came clear that strong-arming my way through the way I had been would require neglecting self-care, as the destination lay some miles outside of town and it was me, exhausted without a ride or a bike. Needing to get there, "How am I going to do this?"
I told myself that I would sleep in the next day. I reasoned that if I was truly aligned with the will of the gods, then I should have near limitless access to willforce and animating energy. I ate a bit of dark chocolate, for I was peckish, and suddenly I saw an ouroboros and felt my engine revving. "Mwahaha! I am born anew, I vibrate forever and am completely imperishable." Feeling the whirling light above and behind my belly button, I ran for a long time through the darkness on country roads, before getting carried the rest of the way by a kindly meth afficionado who happened to be driving my way. I did not indulge in his substance, and would not have even if there were no detrimental side effects, because it was QUITE apparent at this point that methamphetamine would be completely superfluous.
That was an interesting little episode.
A few other things, I'll just mention in passing.
The desire to connect with and rely upon another human outside of myself, for solace in dealing with exhaustion, was strong. Eventually I realized this was simply not the path for me anymore, and wouldn't be. So while I was driven by lusting on life for a hot minute, backing out of some romantic foibles with dear friends and avoiding a couple more became imperative. The original meaning of the Fortitude card was revealed: neither seeking nor avoiding conflict, and overcoming your adversaries (conflicting desires and fear) as they appear through inner strength.
For the self-Chosen People out there, Frater Achad put this card between Sefira 7 and 6.
Another thing I did was to stand up at the OU board of trustees meeting and spake our piece. Since they wouldn't meet with us, I had to take the drastic step of inserting myself into their reality tunnel. The president of the University did not like it, but there was nothing they could do. I only spoke the first two sentences, because they refused to be publicly acted upon, so I handed the typed message off to their secretary and left. When we back up the promise to hold them accountable, I predict that they will be salty they avoided us when we were playing nice.
"On behalf of the 2,000 students and faculty who have signed a petition
to show they want Ohio University to move beyond coal, good morning.
Mr. President and members of the board of trustees, my name is Badger
Johnson, I am a student at Ohio University and I am here today to
bring you an urgent message.
As students, we are told that Ohio University community members should take great pride in our institution. We certainly are accomplishing many great things for which we feel pride, and we are also the beneficiaries of past struggles and for this we are thankful. However, in a modern world where we can quantify the number of human deaths caused by each additional coal-burning facility, it is time to acknowledge that burning coal is a backwards and irresponsible operation.
The Lausche Heating Plant burns coal, to produce steam for heating and cooling the buildings on campus, less than half a mile from where we are gathered here. As we speak it could be emitting pollutants that are known to cause asthma and trigger asthma attacks, such as sulfur oxides. We are letting this happen right beside the fields where our athletes train. What value does the board of trustees put on the health of the student community?
There are alternatives to coal, and they need to be expediently explored because the Lausche plant was due to retire years ago and we need something cleaner to replace it. Currently the University is reviewing its options, but it is actually well behind the timeline the president McDavis committed us to in March of 2007. Tardiness is not a hallmark of excellence, and it’s high time to admit that we cannot meet the President’s stated goal of carbon neutrality while we’re burning coal! And why would we try? Renewable energy pays for itself in the long run, and it represents a lucrative investment. It also helps demonstrate the commitment to environmental citizenship that is part of our core value statement.
Are you, board of trustees, willing to change the damaging energy course your predecessors have chosen for us? History demands that you move beyond coal now! We need executives of character, who are responsible to both the wisest council of our alma matar’s research scientists, and to the desire of your customers, the students. We have spoken: thousands of students have signed the petition to move beyond coal now. We are here to help you hold you accountable. Beyond Coal is here to hold you accountable. There will be positive consequences if you rise to the challenge we’ve laid out before you, and further negative repercussions for all of us if you procrastinate. Thank you."
Later that day, June 25th, I had a vivid dream that's too personal to share. Also, I was shocked by a thunder bolt after reading 1491, which I cannot recommend highly enough to you if you want a tour-de-force of the archaeologically supported awesomeness of cultures that existed in this Hemisphere prior to European invasion. I have been learning about Mayan and Eastern Woodland cultures from the book, after having learned from the oral traditions of these peoples that they shared space until the Shawnee left the Yucatan about a 1,000 years ago. The thunder-clad idea was that I can reconnect the Shawnee with recent Mayan emigres, who are now making their way to the Midwest to escape political turmoil, just as the Shawnee did. The Shawnee carry seeds of the 3 sisters garden, which may offer a key to grounding and continuing the indigenous lifeway of those newly arrived. Picture this: Shawnee, Forgot~urbans and Mayans from the Yucatan collaborating on an acre of 3-sisters community garden. Picture 5 acres, 25, and 64, once the right relationship and gardening techniques have been shared and thanked for. The Neo-indigenizing current being expressed through formerly dispossesed, born again pagans. The Guatamalan's culture could continue directly to their children in this new land, and not worked to be worked into oblivion from the alienation of their intensely-scheduled labor, or the by the prison-school adaptations that their kids are promoted to make. Again I marvel, think how the Earthway continuity would not sink completely underground, and with the solidarity of privileged folks with available education and attention, food could shared at the new table, the kind of table that hospitable Shawnee people had tried to teach to the Whites, the kind of hospitality that some awakening Gnostics are ready to learn now! I talked with the clan mother of the Shawnee Nation United Remnant Band, and she's open to me starting and facilitating this process, so now progress on the project is simply a matter of responding appropriately as the time table occurs to me.
There's more to be said. That brings us up to 3 weeks ago, and I'll try to finish out describing the episode soon. Until then, with open hearts we sail on the breath of God.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
recognizing the usefulness of a public face/private face dichotomy as i wander through nebulous cloudscapes
Readers: sometimes I make more polished work than this, for both of our benefits. If I come back to this and it doesn't communicate effectively the ideas that have come to roost in this mind, than I will edit it. Otherwise, the scatteredness is just where I'm at: imagining new shapes and patterns and living them with intention. Their trend is from fertile chaos towards greater coherence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have been wondering lately, about becoming steeped deep down towards my core, steeped in self-knowledge, vs being active in society and all that demands. I have experienced those two as contending poles, but I can anticipate this duality slackening as my wisdom and understanding deepen. Especially now that I am swinging back towards the pole of solitary pursuit, I can be my own strength as opposed to being fueled and ignited by what I sense and do on the public stage. This is the balanced middle pillar of Kaballah, and it is also the thrusting and governor's channels in the qigong that I am picking back up. I shelved it sometime in the autumn, I guess. The balance to be struck here won't be only the result of pragmatically using adderall to goose my mind into comprehending genetics homework, though that balance between school work and Beyond Coal was my challenge earlier this quarter. I must take stock of who I am and want to be now, because I've experienced so much since February that integration needs to happen so I can experience myself in fullness.
With the summer's being almost here, and so much change that it promises, I pay attention to the viscera's and subconscious promptings, training in self-knowledge even as activities would monumentally build my excitement and draw inner smile outwards. Welcoming back the light of my higher self, so the playfulness of the various daemonic energies, old and new, can work together in this cauldron of creation. O ho! To what collaborative effects I cannot yet say, besides that I am an ouroborros who regenerates faster than can be destroyed. Kan and Li in harmony. Seriously, beyond the self-affirming platitude, I have a confession. When who I was seemed painful- being alone with nothing but that shining cord at my chest, stretching into the distance but freshly severed and leaking the tears that I didn't want to shed- throwing myself into other pursuits was easy and attractive. As of most of winter quarter, and to a deliberately diminished degree this quarter. Now that I am returning to center, Gardening! Brewing! PAID UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH doing soil ecology, and the qigong practice that recommenced anew, tonight at sunset, are not escapes. They are the maze that I meditate in. I study and I learn.
The gist of this is, I am human and I'm done feeling immediate obligation to all that I love, because the love is way bigger than I. Bringing consciousness to a point to create an electromotive force to open my small circulation/microcosmic orbit demands this, and my latest notion is that it will eventually be emanated from the same source in my career work as a bioremediator so others will get a taste of the fruit of my discipline, a more genuine taste than I feel twas able to give through the following facebook post.
This one, that I just deleted from my wall; I remove it to here for the enjoyment of friends who would follow my thoughts. I intend for you to enjoy the music while you read.
"Started Bodhidharma's *Tendon Change Classic* today. Plant and Graft Division represent! It feels so amazing on all levels to be returning to Nei Dan training :)
p.s. a hug to anyone in my community, known or as yet undiscovered, who knows what I'm referring to. Would love to connect with fellow travelers if there be any in Southern Ohio or surrounding area."
Why did I delete this? I realized that I have 1,100 facebook friends, and it suddenly dawned on me that this is TMI (too much information) for that motley cast of characters. It is wonderfully specific by comparison to what could have been their varied responses and non-responses which I would in turn feel more self-conscious about than I want. I will undertake more specialized interaction with smaller, more select groups of people on this journey. Hahaha, this event of posting and unposting was the impetus for this burst of sharing.
Pulling attention inwards is not a matter of being shallow in public, or selfishly not sharing what's precious to me (I originally typed "shelfishly", haha). The costume is removed when there are meaningful, mutual exchanges taking place between I and Thou. Keepimg it vibrant and funky with inner circle, classy and true with all folks, and employing a mild and detached propriety towards those on distant wavelengths. Ahhhhhh, I feel more at peace having articulated my truth. Thank you, all and none, for receiving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have been wondering lately, about becoming steeped deep down towards my core, steeped in self-knowledge, vs being active in society and all that demands. I have experienced those two as contending poles, but I can anticipate this duality slackening as my wisdom and understanding deepen. Especially now that I am swinging back towards the pole of solitary pursuit, I can be my own strength as opposed to being fueled and ignited by what I sense and do on the public stage. This is the balanced middle pillar of Kaballah, and it is also the thrusting and governor's channels in the qigong that I am picking back up. I shelved it sometime in the autumn, I guess. The balance to be struck here won't be only the result of pragmatically using adderall to goose my mind into comprehending genetics homework, though that balance between school work and Beyond Coal was my challenge earlier this quarter. I must take stock of who I am and want to be now, because I've experienced so much since February that integration needs to happen so I can experience myself in fullness.
With the summer's being almost here, and so much change that it promises, I pay attention to the viscera's and subconscious promptings, training in self-knowledge even as activities would monumentally build my excitement and draw inner smile outwards. Welcoming back the light of my higher self, so the playfulness of the various daemonic energies, old and new, can work together in this cauldron of creation. O ho! To what collaborative effects I cannot yet say, besides that I am an ouroborros who regenerates faster than can be destroyed. Kan and Li in harmony. Seriously, beyond the self-affirming platitude, I have a confession. When who I was seemed painful- being alone with nothing but that shining cord at my chest, stretching into the distance but freshly severed and leaking the tears that I didn't want to shed- throwing myself into other pursuits was easy and attractive. As of most of winter quarter, and to a deliberately diminished degree this quarter. Now that I am returning to center, Gardening! Brewing! PAID UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH doing soil ecology, and the qigong practice that recommenced anew, tonight at sunset, are not escapes. They are the maze that I meditate in. I study and I learn.
The gist of this is, I am human and I'm done feeling immediate obligation to all that I love, because the love is way bigger than I. Bringing consciousness to a point to create an electromotive force to open my small circulation/microcosmic orbit demands this, and my latest notion is that it will eventually be emanated from the same source in my career work as a bioremediator so others will get a taste of the fruit of my discipline, a more genuine taste than I feel twas able to give through the following facebook post.
This one, that I just deleted from my wall; I remove it to here for the enjoyment of friends who would follow my thoughts. I intend for you to enjoy the music while you read.
"Started Bodhidharma's *Tendon Change Classic* today. Plant and Graft Division represent! It feels so amazing on all levels to be returning to Nei Dan training :)
p.s. a hug to anyone in my community, known or as yet undiscovered, who knows what I'm referring to. Would love to connect with fellow travelers if there be any in Southern Ohio or surrounding area."
Why did I delete this? I realized that I have 1,100 facebook friends, and it suddenly dawned on me that this is TMI (too much information) for that motley cast of characters. It is wonderfully specific by comparison to what could have been their varied responses and non-responses which I would in turn feel more self-conscious about than I want. I will undertake more specialized interaction with smaller, more select groups of people on this journey. Hahaha, this event of posting and unposting was the impetus for this burst of sharing.
Pulling attention inwards is not a matter of being shallow in public, or selfishly not sharing what's precious to me (I originally typed "shelfishly", haha). The costume is removed when there are meaningful, mutual exchanges taking place between I and Thou. Keepimg it vibrant and funky with inner circle, classy and true with all folks, and employing a mild and detached propriety towards those on distant wavelengths. Ahhhhhh, I feel more at peace having articulated my truth. Thank you, all and none, for receiving.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
open letter to Students for a Sensible Drug Policy
this group has advocated opening the legislation so that we may enjoy drugs without interference. this is a worthy goal, but i feel we would do well to undertake some personal alchemy first in order for us to be more effective. i would challenge us to consider what responsibility looks like on a personal level, and share the story of how we are responsible drug users with the general public. if indeed we are. we are not a homogeneous group.
this is the essential story to combat their narrative of fear and loathing: responsible drug use is possible, and further it is HELPFUL. my question for OU SSDP is, are we up to this? my sense has been that i have a more limited view of responsible drug use than my SSDP fellows. that is partially because i have a more limited experience-based knowledge, and partially because i cannot help but note that our group has suffered from lack of action. i take some share in this, and left the group to find more action-inspiring energy elsewhere. now i find myself somewhat strung out on stimulants, and looking for community to be studious, effective and also cut loose in dyonesian revelry on occasion as a counterweight. or something.
*~#what am i looking for? basically i just miss you guys and feel like i don't use or go to enough shows to connect anymore, and it doesn't have to be like this. so i'm looking for you, and heart to heart discussion, and whatever comes of that#~*
now the reading that inspired me to contact y'all. and btw, i'm here for the summer please please hit me up
"4. The Preparation of Medicines
Herbs are the finest energy of mountains and streams, the essential florescence of grasses and trees. They may be warm, or they may be cool; one uses them to supplement or drain energy. They may be thick, or they may be thin; one uses them externally or from within.
Studying herbs in their essence allows you to support your inner nature and destiny. On the other hand, if you apply herbs blindly, you will waste your body and phsysical constitution.
All those who study the Tao must penetrate herbal lore. If you do not do so, you have no means to support the Tao. Yet in doing so, you must not develop attachments, for they will diminish the hidden merits of past lives. You will then hanker after mateiral goods on the outside and waste your efforts at cultivation within.
Not only does lead to grave transgressions and errors in this life, but it will also cause retribution in the lives to come. Oh, noble disciples of my teaching! Heed this and be very careful!"
~Wang Chongyang in their 'Fifteen Articles on Establishing the Teaching', circa 1150 CE
this is the essential story to combat their narrative of fear and loathing: responsible drug use is possible, and further it is HELPFUL. my question for OU SSDP is, are we up to this? my sense has been that i have a more limited view of responsible drug use than my SSDP fellows. that is partially because i have a more limited experience-based knowledge, and partially because i cannot help but note that our group has suffered from lack of action. i take some share in this, and left the group to find more action-inspiring energy elsewhere. now i find myself somewhat strung out on stimulants, and looking for community to be studious, effective and also cut loose in dyonesian revelry on occasion as a counterweight. or something.
*~#what am i looking for? basically i just miss you guys and feel like i don't use or go to enough shows to connect anymore, and it doesn't have to be like this. so i'm looking for you, and heart to heart discussion, and whatever comes of that#~*
now the reading that inspired me to contact y'all. and btw, i'm here for the summer please please hit me up
"4. The Preparation of Medicines
Herbs are the finest energy of mountains and streams, the essential florescence of grasses and trees. They may be warm, or they may be cool; one uses them to supplement or drain energy. They may be thick, or they may be thin; one uses them externally or from within.
Studying herbs in their essence allows you to support your inner nature and destiny. On the other hand, if you apply herbs blindly, you will waste your body and phsysical constitution.
All those who study the Tao must penetrate herbal lore. If you do not do so, you have no means to support the Tao. Yet in doing so, you must not develop attachments, for they will diminish the hidden merits of past lives. You will then hanker after mateiral goods on the outside and waste your efforts at cultivation within.
Not only does lead to grave transgressions and errors in this life, but it will also cause retribution in the lives to come. Oh, noble disciples of my teaching! Heed this and be very careful!"
~Wang Chongyang in their 'Fifteen Articles on Establishing the Teaching', circa 1150 CE
Sunday, April 25, 2010
DMT
DMT is an ichor that your pinneal gland constantly secretes. Particularly during birth, death and dreaming you can find trace amounts of it circulating through your flesh. It is available in the bodies of many plants and animals. Today, its extraction is a feasible work for anybody aspiring to meaningful laboratory-alchemy.
It is the pharmacological basis of ayahuasca, the Amazon jungle brew whose initiation unites an unusually engaged segment of the shamanic community. I have noticed that these people who have done DMT are often passionately invested in this very solid plane. Now I realize their motivation comes from putting the pedal to the metal as one flies through higher energies and encounters *far out* personalities, the machine elves who one can usually not relate to directly during two eyes open consciousness. After the third eye closes, we must acknowledge that the veneer of mundania that World dawns as she struggles through our senses is simply an expression of the current reaches and limits of our perception via a nominally engaged nervous system, and that we can live for much more even if we can't always feel it, because it is DEFINITELY there.
The experience of DMT is supposed to be very validating of shamanism that doesn't use an ingested entheogenic sacrament. Kabbalah, subtle energy bodies and chakras, the transcendent personalities that animate all things and not just those which are biologically alive, all these and doubtless many others can be seen from the other side of infinite space, and knowledge and practice of them obviously DOES lead towards a huge extension of the light of consciousness. With that kind of software uploaded into your psyche, you'll be better prepared to get the most out of your journey. And that's my plug to the right-brained activist community to study practice mysticism like you would any critical theory.
The ostentatious Legalism which people wield and submit to in this World even extends to the banning of DMT! No wonder, those who are awakened from the trance are like the free radicals in the body that give rise to cancer. Free radicals are usually just oxygen, the chemical basis for prana, which are in a place that they find themselves interrupting and mutating the DNA as it replicates. The body of Empire is stricken with age as a result of free radical activity, and certain other cells gain an interdependent immortality that doesn't know or desire rest until the whole body can't take the competing energies, and it all disintegrates. Usually we talk about Industrialism like a cancer, but in the context of Babylon and the anarchists it's certainly the other way around. People are enlightening through trans-human trips and dancing to the beat of a drum that the Archons cannot hear, the useful resources which are being held captive in the belly of the beast will soon enough be returned to Nature's cycle of abundance. In that context we can manage the gifts with even more joy and gratitude; we will have a super abundance of recycling materials like scrap metal and open sky and sunlight and chlorophyll.
So living a Great Turning of the tables is for us! This vale is the proving ground for our ideals and we have only to go higher, to shine brighter. The detached, ideal-driven engagement of the masterless warrior-sorcerer will be washed in on the tides of a bliss ocean. Every time someone climbs in that rocket ship whose fuel seeps out of the middle of your brain, it's like the Moon pulling tugging water through an underground river that nobody even knew was eroding the foundations of the White House. And some of us had thought the subterraneans were all demons, ha! what paranoia.
It is the pharmacological basis of ayahuasca, the Amazon jungle brew whose initiation unites an unusually engaged segment of the shamanic community. I have noticed that these people who have done DMT are often passionately invested in this very solid plane. Now I realize their motivation comes from putting the pedal to the metal as one flies through higher energies and encounters *far out* personalities, the machine elves who one can usually not relate to directly during two eyes open consciousness. After the third eye closes, we must acknowledge that the veneer of mundania that World dawns as she struggles through our senses is simply an expression of the current reaches and limits of our perception via a nominally engaged nervous system, and that we can live for much more even if we can't always feel it, because it is DEFINITELY there.
The experience of DMT is supposed to be very validating of shamanism that doesn't use an ingested entheogenic sacrament. Kabbalah, subtle energy bodies and chakras, the transcendent personalities that animate all things and not just those which are biologically alive, all these and doubtless many others can be seen from the other side of infinite space, and knowledge and practice of them obviously DOES lead towards a huge extension of the light of consciousness. With that kind of software uploaded into your psyche, you'll be better prepared to get the most out of your journey. And that's my plug to the right-brained activist community to study practice mysticism like you would any critical theory.
The ostentatious Legalism which people wield and submit to in this World even extends to the banning of DMT! No wonder, those who are awakened from the trance are like the free radicals in the body that give rise to cancer. Free radicals are usually just oxygen, the chemical basis for prana, which are in a place that they find themselves interrupting and mutating the DNA as it replicates. The body of Empire is stricken with age as a result of free radical activity, and certain other cells gain an interdependent immortality that doesn't know or desire rest until the whole body can't take the competing energies, and it all disintegrates. Usually we talk about Industrialism like a cancer, but in the context of Babylon and the anarchists it's certainly the other way around. People are enlightening through trans-human trips and dancing to the beat of a drum that the Archons cannot hear, the useful resources which are being held captive in the belly of the beast will soon enough be returned to Nature's cycle of abundance. In that context we can manage the gifts with even more joy and gratitude; we will have a super abundance of recycling materials like scrap metal and open sky and sunlight and chlorophyll.
So living a Great Turning of the tables is for us! This vale is the proving ground for our ideals and we have only to go higher, to shine brighter. The detached, ideal-driven engagement of the masterless warrior-sorcerer will be washed in on the tides of a bliss ocean. Every time someone climbs in that rocket ship whose fuel seeps out of the middle of your brain, it's like the Moon pulling tugging water through an underground river that nobody even knew was eroding the foundations of the White House. And some of us had thought the subterraneans were all demons, ha! what paranoia.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Eyes closed Free writes let it all hang out: how Werebrock’s left brain abdictates for balance
*Some not all spelling irregularities, included links and name abbreviation=partial anonymous status of peeps
Innovative Farmers of Ohio convention was a bunch of booths from orgs around the state, people on different trajectories through the ever rapidly transforming workfield and paradigms of agriculture. Double A Willow growing new Strains of willow for profit and fun and it’s out of New York University it grows so Fast it’s like bamboo and it’s carbon netural, they burn it in coal-designed power plants that do not require much modificaiton. At least, no ancient carbon is being realeased into the atmosphere. Finally, a biofuel that feeels like it’s on my side of the line! So many vacant and empty fields around here that could grow it locally for OU’s facility. Other promises include, tantalizingly, this Third Frontier collaboration with Ohio University, other schools and private firms to create Jobs for chaning the energy tech that’s known and implemented. We can stop burning dinosaurs and dance in the sun. Very successful investment of Money for state, builds economy and produces alternative energy. If some contractor Could work with OU’s Russ School of Engineering and develop a plan and implementation for the geothermal or willow energy sources, that would mean there’s all this infrastructure in place institutionally to support it. A lot of Money coming in to make it happen in certain other areas and we Could have a sustainable alternative piece of the pie homegrowing in this quadrant. So exciting.
Ah, Hasi. Hang out with her, being honest about my feelings and just sharing this: I am not over Nala, am now working on this while being interest into her. You can see other people and do whatever you like, just know that I will be back. She smiled and thanked for honesty, we are hanging out tonight.
“Yesterday I heard you say
Your lust for life has gone away.
It got me thinking, I think I feel a similar way,
And that’s sad (that’s sad).
So let’s make a decision, start a new religion.
Yeah, we’re gonna build a temple to our love.
Orgiastic dances, nymphs in trances,
Yeah, we’ll be the envy of the Gods above.
I’m feeling devious,
You’re looking glamorous.
Let’s get mischievous,
And polyamorous.
Wine and women and wonderful vices
Welcome to the cult of Dionysus.”
Beda’s hanging out too, volunteering, funneling supplies to food kitchens since they went underutilized. The two girls hung out. I have affection for them both. They seemed to hit it off. Practicing non-possessiveness “Aparigraha” hardcore for this next two week period, as per homework of Michelle’s powerful yoga instruction of last night, suddely things seem Kaiserm nedutatuibm nideratuibm gibesty, non-violence pu, enlightenment all easier with this new boost. (leaving that in there for flowingness) Beda gives me head massage and I enjoy it, Lester give me walking onions and I plant in the Earth reside Mikn’s bedroom door. Food there’s amazing, and we get to take a lot home including dank Crumbs' granola . Perhaps some final highlights, Could spend hours on this and perhaps will, that is Mr V of Mushroom Harvest offered some positive feedback to my sugestión that i be his wage=slave minion over the summer. Joph and I may team up for that job. Beka, my dear brother suggested I stay here in Athens over the summer, and join him at Wisteria With a solid gig like Mushroom Harvest and divine revelry there’s no reason I’d leave my friends, even if there were cool opportunities else where whcih of course there are. But BE HERE NOW with sense of place and all the joya n growth happening, but but… the World isnt a sad place? Ah glorious RA! Hathor! Doynysis and Dianna! Thank you for being with me, and YHVH o, bringing me all together dear pantheo to a place of coalescing… solve et coagula’s second stage? (BTW, I'm gettin' that motto tatted on the back of my neck maybe)
Speaking of alchemy, there’s this alchemist Cost who’s living in our house now. He’s a bit damaged from crack and the Enochian magick he’s fucked with, but it’s so nice to have an anarchist Adeptus Major around who I can just love on and he loves me back. We are probly gonna make some colloidal gold in the next month or so.
Oth.
Beyond Coal’s power dyanimcs: I was the leader and facilitator for a while. With the help of my friends, I am stepping down and facilitiating it…. Opening up to other facilitators! I no Langer solely channel the warrior energy of the zelator exclusively, as I did in the month and a half alter the breakup with Nala Where I am now is here, … “Lessons in love we’re learning here, Goddess guide us beyond our fears” (AH THEE NAH=Imbolc Mother Goddess from that rit griten about last time)
School’s goin’ well; just aced my final Spanish oral exam of the quarter. Had a shpiel about my favorite recipe of the spring. Well one of my favorites☺
“Los ingredientes son sal de mar, chiles picantes, cebollas salvajes, brócoli, salvaje, agua, raíces salvajes
Ve al bosque en la primavera. Busca por un grupo grande de cebollas salvajes, y toma menos de la mitad, porque vas a querer regresar a este lugar en el año próximo. También, recoge raíces de burdock, de dandelion, o de ginger salvajes, y todas las otras raíces medicinales y comestibles que están en época.
Ve al campo en la primavera. Usa una cuchilla para cortar el brócoli salvaje. Pregúntale a un amigo que observe en caso que el granjero no le guste compartir. Toma tres galones de los flores de brócoli salvaje, y regresa a tu cocina. Trae los ingredientes del bosque al mismo tiempo. Necesitas los ingredientes muy frescos.
Lava y corta los legumbres salvajes y ponlos en una taza grande. Añade muchos chili picante, y añade sal para que el sabor esta casi como el mar. Maja los legumbres hasta que el caldo sale de las plantas. Pone en unas jarras de cristal, y entonces añade bastante agua para cubrir todos los ingredientes. Espera siete días antes que lo comas.”
- Lección 6A y Lección 6B: El nombre del plato es Cortido de Athens (Werebrock 3/5/10)
Funny, a sad face popped up when my fingers jitterbug accross keyboard eyes closed. The process of replacing it with a smily face is coming naturally now and I breath deep.
Cool Project for next quarter is, The United Shawnee Remanat Band is trusting us with their pedigree of Nicotioana rustica, and we are going to Estbaliz a Oyster mushroom patch on their land via a Workshops. Wonder how the ginseng I started in the fall is too, wrote a presentation on that for PBIO 305
Paying more attention to the planets these days. Mercury zips through the sky just alter sunset; i have tentatively signed up for a 28 week Kabbalah course staring april 15th. Rejected for the undergraduate research position applied for; not sure whether; very sure actually, that there is no set course for me, that it is fluid, and i will flow the way of a channel that Providence lays out befote me. Like that pic of C.R. in Green Hermeticism, looking like Christ with moonshoes striding lightly through the forest.
The people thanked me I thank them! Give more than your fair share and you’ll get enough to wash you in an ocean of bliss
There will be gyropters on my commune. Speakin' a which, Joow from our stint at Mountain Gardens has now started, what's it called, kiteboarding?! Fulfillment of prophecy, yo, and that’s all of typing fo now.
Innovative Farmers of Ohio convention was a bunch of booths from orgs around the state, people on different trajectories through the ever rapidly transforming workfield and paradigms of agriculture. Double A Willow growing new Strains of willow for profit and fun and it’s out of New York University it grows so Fast it’s like bamboo and it’s carbon netural, they burn it in coal-designed power plants that do not require much modificaiton. At least, no ancient carbon is being realeased into the atmosphere. Finally, a biofuel that feeels like it’s on my side of the line! So many vacant and empty fields around here that could grow it locally for OU’s facility. Other promises include, tantalizingly, this Third Frontier collaboration with Ohio University, other schools and private firms to create Jobs for chaning the energy tech that’s known and implemented. We can stop burning dinosaurs and dance in the sun. Very successful investment of Money for state, builds economy and produces alternative energy. If some contractor Could work with OU’s Russ School of Engineering and develop a plan and implementation for the geothermal or willow energy sources, that would mean there’s all this infrastructure in place institutionally to support it. A lot of Money coming in to make it happen in certain other areas and we Could have a sustainable alternative piece of the pie homegrowing in this quadrant. So exciting.
Ah, Hasi. Hang out with her, being honest about my feelings and just sharing this: I am not over Nala, am now working on this while being interest into her. You can see other people and do whatever you like, just know that I will be back. She smiled and thanked for honesty, we are hanging out tonight.
“Yesterday I heard you say
Your lust for life has gone away.
It got me thinking, I think I feel a similar way,
And that’s sad (that’s sad).
So let’s make a decision, start a new religion.
Yeah, we’re gonna build a temple to our love.
Orgiastic dances, nymphs in trances,
Yeah, we’ll be the envy of the Gods above.
I’m feeling devious,
You’re looking glamorous.
Let’s get mischievous,
And polyamorous.
Wine and women and wonderful vices
Welcome to the cult of Dionysus.”
Beda’s hanging out too, volunteering, funneling supplies to food kitchens since they went underutilized. The two girls hung out. I have affection for them both. They seemed to hit it off. Practicing non-possessiveness “Aparigraha” hardcore for this next two week period, as per homework of Michelle’s powerful yoga instruction of last night, suddely things seem Kaiserm nedutatuibm nideratuibm gibesty, non-violence pu, enlightenment all easier with this new boost. (leaving that in there for flowingness) Beda gives me head massage and I enjoy it, Lester give me walking onions and I plant in the Earth reside Mikn’s bedroom door. Food there’s amazing, and we get to take a lot home including dank Crumbs' granola . Perhaps some final highlights, Could spend hours on this and perhaps will, that is Mr V of Mushroom Harvest offered some positive feedback to my sugestión that i be his wage=slave minion over the summer. Joph and I may team up for that job. Beka, my dear brother suggested I stay here in Athens over the summer, and join him at Wisteria With a solid gig like Mushroom Harvest and divine revelry there’s no reason I’d leave my friends, even if there were cool opportunities else where whcih of course there are. But BE HERE NOW with sense of place and all the joya n growth happening, but but… the World isnt a sad place? Ah glorious RA! Hathor! Doynysis and Dianna! Thank you for being with me, and YHVH o, bringing me all together dear pantheo to a place of coalescing… solve et coagula’s second stage? (BTW, I'm gettin' that motto tatted on the back of my neck maybe)
Speaking of alchemy, there’s this alchemist Cost who’s living in our house now. He’s a bit damaged from crack and the Enochian magick he’s fucked with, but it’s so nice to have an anarchist Adeptus Major around who I can just love on and he loves me back. We are probly gonna make some colloidal gold in the next month or so.
Oth.
Beyond Coal’s power dyanimcs: I was the leader and facilitator for a while. With the help of my friends, I am stepping down and facilitiating it…. Opening up to other facilitators! I no Langer solely channel the warrior energy of the zelator exclusively, as I did in the month and a half alter the breakup with Nala Where I am now is here, … “Lessons in love we’re learning here, Goddess guide us beyond our fears” (AH THEE NAH=Imbolc Mother Goddess from that rit griten about last time)
School’s goin’ well; just aced my final Spanish oral exam of the quarter. Had a shpiel about my favorite recipe of the spring. Well one of my favorites☺
“Los ingredientes son sal de mar, chiles picantes, cebollas salvajes, brócoli, salvaje, agua, raíces salvajes
Ve al bosque en la primavera. Busca por un grupo grande de cebollas salvajes, y toma menos de la mitad, porque vas a querer regresar a este lugar en el año próximo. También, recoge raíces de burdock, de dandelion, o de ginger salvajes, y todas las otras raíces medicinales y comestibles que están en época.
Ve al campo en la primavera. Usa una cuchilla para cortar el brócoli salvaje. Pregúntale a un amigo que observe en caso que el granjero no le guste compartir. Toma tres galones de los flores de brócoli salvaje, y regresa a tu cocina. Trae los ingredientes del bosque al mismo tiempo. Necesitas los ingredientes muy frescos.
Lava y corta los legumbres salvajes y ponlos en una taza grande. Añade muchos chili picante, y añade sal para que el sabor esta casi como el mar. Maja los legumbres hasta que el caldo sale de las plantas. Pone en unas jarras de cristal, y entonces añade bastante agua para cubrir todos los ingredientes. Espera siete días antes que lo comas.”
- Lección 6A y Lección 6B: El nombre del plato es Cortido de Athens (Werebrock 3/5/10)
Funny, a sad face popped up when my fingers jitterbug accross keyboard eyes closed. The process of replacing it with a smily face is coming naturally now and I breath deep.
Cool Project for next quarter is, The United Shawnee Remanat Band is trusting us with their pedigree of Nicotioana rustica, and we are going to Estbaliz a Oyster mushroom patch on their land via a Workshops. Wonder how the ginseng I started in the fall is too, wrote a presentation on that for PBIO 305
Paying more attention to the planets these days. Mercury zips through the sky just alter sunset; i have tentatively signed up for a 28 week Kabbalah course staring april 15th. Rejected for the undergraduate research position applied for; not sure whether; very sure actually, that there is no set course for me, that it is fluid, and i will flow the way of a channel that Providence lays out befote me. Like that pic of C.R. in Green Hermeticism, looking like Christ with moonshoes striding lightly through the forest.
The people thanked me I thank them! Give more than your fair share and you’ll get enough to wash you in an ocean of bliss
There will be gyropters on my commune. Speakin' a which, Joow from our stint at Mountain Gardens has now started, what's it called, kiteboarding?! Fulfillment of prophecy, yo, and that’s all of typing fo now.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
hiya all
It's been a long time, and to catch up would take an even longer time. I just wanted to point out a site I've been writing for, for a wee while. It's called these new old traditions. I recently wrote about my wabi sabi life. Here's the first part:
Wabi-sabi is a Japanese term that does not translate well to English, but using a thousand words, perhaps we shall begin to understand. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, but now reflects a meaning more of rustic simplicity, freshness, or quietness. Wabi also refers to the quirks and imperfections that arise during the creation process. Sabi refers to the beauty which comes into being as something ages. According to wikipedia, “if an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi.” Also, wabi-sabi “nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.”
You can read more about wabi sabi in operation in Springfield especially.
I've recently been infused with divine RRRRAAWWWWRRRR!!!!! I think it is because spring is nearly here, or possibly, I'm just crazy. I got my seed order done today, and finally, FINALLY, found a 3-prong adapter so my grow lights can be powered by coal. Cabbage and broccoli sprouts, here we go. I'm re-learning how to prune as well.
Life is pretty sweet in Springfield, having many friends who moved into the neighborhood, all with an eye for community, beauty, gardening, all that good stuff.
sharqi
Wabi-sabi is a Japanese term that does not translate well to English, but using a thousand words, perhaps we shall begin to understand. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, but now reflects a meaning more of rustic simplicity, freshness, or quietness. Wabi also refers to the quirks and imperfections that arise during the creation process. Sabi refers to the beauty which comes into being as something ages. According to wikipedia, “if an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi.” Also, wabi-sabi “nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.”
You can read more about wabi sabi in operation in Springfield especially.
I've recently been infused with divine RRRRAAWWWWRRRR!!!!! I think it is because spring is nearly here, or possibly, I'm just crazy. I got my seed order done today, and finally, FINALLY, found a 3-prong adapter so my grow lights can be powered by coal. Cabbage and broccoli sprouts, here we go. I'm re-learning how to prune as well.
Life is pretty sweet in Springfield, having many friends who moved into the neighborhood, all with an eye for community, beauty, gardening, all that good stuff.
sharqi
Monday, January 25, 2010
winter quarter in the days before Imbolc
I am excitedly stepping up to the plate of on-campus community organizing. The Sierra Club's "Beyond Coal" campaign touched down here last quarter, and I worked on it under the supervision of friend and experienced organizer CL. A project that is radical, tangible and together enough that my heart is feeling the fiery tongue of glory once again. Our goal is for OU to stop burning coal on campus (can you believe it, are we in Victorian England or what?) Now that our friend CL has left I have stepped up to lead the group. This is challenging in more ways than one, and it's relishing to have to stay on my toes, for it makes living turgid with qi so easy. The kick-off event for will be a panel discussion by alternative energy researchers. We will be exploring which energy technologies are hypothetically best for replacing fossil fuel immolation to heat campus buildings. Through this discussion we offer views of a route this school can take to energy interdependence with living processes. The administration and board of trustees is beginning to hear our message.
Groundhog's Day is Tuesday of next
week! The USAian holiday, featuring Marmoda monax as chief weather prognosticator, is based off of European traditions that came before it. Badgers and serpents used to be the reporters. The notion was that the hag of winter would either stay in and finish her snooze, thus spelling no more winter; or, she'd come out and make it nice for a day so she could gather more firewood! Those astute badgers would see their shadows and know exactly what was going on. Don't hate the hag, love her: without winter, would we experience the renewal of spring vigor with such joy? You might ask the hag to shorten the winter a bit, even though you like her gift well enough. You can vote with your CO2 emissions if your mind is made up.
Imbolc is the name neo-pagans have remembered for the holiday, halfway 'tween winter solstace and vernal equinox. The word means either "milk" or "in the belly", depending on whose translation of Gaelic you go with. The time was a celebration of the coming of nature's spring quickening, and farm animal lactation in particular because it arrived early, around this time. There'd be bonfires, herbed beer, and the desire to relieve from whatever psycho-somatic constipation you might have incurred while bundling up against the cold. My Athens-based, anarcho-pantheist discussion circle the Philosophers' Club designed a rite to celebrate Imbolc. We played a riff off of Campbell's "Belly of the Whale" archetype. This means disappearing off the face of the Earth for a time, and coming face to face with your shadow side. The objective here is to face the monster with a loving heart, so as to include more of it which is who part of who you really are, (the hurt and divine gifts that got put on the shelf), into who you act like you are. Our method is jumping in a freezing lake. The shock of submersion has the tendency to rip your etheric body from your astral, and when you come back to your psyche you briefly notice it as if you are a newcomer. New management, new policies. It's a good way to start the long spring cleanse cycle. Last year we chanted around a fire and then dunked through a hole in the ice, taking turns getting naked, cold and then warm again. 11 or 14 of us in a row, with many spectators, made the plunge into "Sophia's womb".
Other news: Naomi is getting interviewed for two nature-based curriculum design gigs. One in Cincy at Imago, next to Enright Ridge Ecovillage. Go on with your savvy self, dear woman. I am taking Spanish, SCUBA, plant classification, and propagation. My home DIY ambition for this quarter is starting to grow Pleurotus ostreatus (oyster mushrooms), and to make another batch of miso. I made some bombin' sourdoughed granola last week. Soak culture then drain 48 oz oats, mix in 16 oz shredded coconut, plus 24 oz soaked nuts, 12 oz raisins, 1/2 c. honey, 1/2 c. olive oil, tbs. cinnamon, tsp salt. Dry on low in oven or in dehydrating contraption.
Groundhog's Day is Tuesday of next
week! The USAian holiday, featuring Marmoda monax as chief weather prognosticator, is based off of European traditions that came before it. Badgers and serpents used to be the reporters. The notion was that the hag of winter would either stay in and finish her snooze, thus spelling no more winter; or, she'd come out and make it nice for a day so she could gather more firewood! Those astute badgers would see their shadows and know exactly what was going on. Don't hate the hag, love her: without winter, would we experience the renewal of spring vigor with such joy? You might ask the hag to shorten the winter a bit, even though you like her gift well enough. You can vote with your CO2 emissions if your mind is made up.Imbolc is the name neo-pagans have remembered for the holiday, halfway 'tween winter solstace and vernal equinox. The word means either "milk" or "in the belly", depending on whose translation of Gaelic you go with. The time was a celebration of the coming of nature's spring quickening, and farm animal lactation in particular because it arrived early, around this time. There'd be bonfires, herbed beer, and the desire to relieve from whatever psycho-somatic constipation you might have incurred while bundling up against the cold. My Athens-based, anarcho-pantheist discussion circle the Philosophers' Club designed a rite to celebrate Imbolc. We played a riff off of Campbell's "Belly of the Whale" archetype. This means disappearing off the face of the Earth for a time, and coming face to face with your shadow side. The objective here is to face the monster with a loving heart, so as to include more of it which is who part of who you really are, (the hurt and divine gifts that got put on the shelf), into who you act like you are. Our method is jumping in a freezing lake. The shock of submersion has the tendency to rip your etheric body from your astral, and when you come back to your psyche you briefly notice it as if you are a newcomer. New management, new policies. It's a good way to start the long spring cleanse cycle. Last year we chanted around a fire and then dunked through a hole in the ice, taking turns getting naked, cold and then warm again. 11 or 14 of us in a row, with many spectators, made the plunge into "Sophia's womb".
Other news: Naomi is getting interviewed for two nature-based curriculum design gigs. One in Cincy at Imago, next to Enright Ridge Ecovillage. Go on with your savvy self, dear woman. I am taking Spanish, SCUBA, plant classification, and propagation. My home DIY ambition for this quarter is starting to grow Pleurotus ostreatus (oyster mushrooms), and to make another batch of miso. I made some bombin' sourdoughed granola last week. Soak culture then drain 48 oz oats, mix in 16 oz shredded coconut, plus 24 oz soaked nuts, 12 oz raisins, 1/2 c. honey, 1/2 c. olive oil, tbs. cinnamon, tsp salt. Dry on low in oven or in dehydrating contraption.
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